Tonight's picture was taken in February of 2009. Mattie was home from the hospital and his friend Kazu and family dropped off this wonderful Lego kit earlier in the week for Mattie. We worked on it for days! Honestly Legos was therapy for all three of us, as it was a positive and constructive diversion from focusing on our reality. Of course once the creation was built, we could admire it, talk about it, and of course Mattie loved incorporating his play schemes into his Lego builds. I loved this Victorian village so much, and it symbolized the love of friendship, that I had it on display in our living room for years after Mattie died.
Quote of the day: Heartbreak is life educating us. ~ George Bernard Shaw
While throwing garbage out today, I ran into my next door neighbor. They have a lovely Labrador named Sophie. Sophie and Sunny used to be great buddies. They would met at our fence line, sniff, bark at each other and when they would met up on the front lawn, they would play. My neighbor learned today that Sunny died on January 10. It is hard news to deliver, but I did want them to know, especially since they hadn't seen Sunny outside or me walking him. Sunny is a big loss to the block!
I woke up this morning at 1am. Literally I practically jumped out of bed. I felt like someone was stabbing me in my eye. Given that I have narrow angle glaucoma, I am always in a panic that I may need to be rushed to the hospital for an emergency procedure. But honestly, some times it is hard to determine what is causing what! All I know is with migraines and cluster headaches, stabbing pain is common. A week ago, I had a cluster headache in my left eye. This week, it is in my right. It literally feels like something is in my eye constantly. Pressure, scratching, and very irritating. In addition to this, I am having eye twitching and fluttering in my ears. All common symptoms for me of migraines. Literally I am a mess. I had so much pain at 1am, that I did not know if I could go back to bed. Somehow I managed.
Today was the day that Blanca was coming over to help me clean. She comes twice a month. We have known one another since 2008, when Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. In a way, we have practically grown up together, as she has witnessed many lows in my life. This being another one of them. In order to get everyone up and things moving in the morning, I have to get out of bed by 5:30am. NOT my hour. Once I hit the ground this morning, I haven't stopped moving yet.
I juggled my mom's physical therapy appointment today and my own virtual doctor appointment. I was supposed to have a virtual appointment with my kidney stone doctor at 11:15am. But at 10:30am, my phone rang and it was the doctor. Fortune for him, I could accommodate his surprising time change.
Literally my day involves jumping from one task to another. Balancing demands, needs, and problems. Along my journey, I have come to meet a lovely woman in England. She is part of my support group. We have bonded over similar issues and we write to each other daily. Ironically I no longer attend the support group.... as I have issues with groups, but though I only attended one group session, this one participant and I immediately connected. Given all that I am balancing, it is interesting to meet someone else on a similar journey. A similar journey across the pond. Despite our time difference, we write back and forth to each other when we can and I look forward to hearing and sharing stories.
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