Mattie Miracle 15th Anniversary Video

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

June 10, 2024

Monday, June 10, 2024

Monday, June 10, 2024

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2006. It was not unusual for us to go to Roosevelt Island on the weekends. We explored the Island in all seasons and LOVED it. I can't tell you how many times we crossed this bridge as a family and then as a couple after Mattie died. To me this is a special place filled with the spirit of our lives together. 


Quote of the day: And they can’t understand, what hurts more—missing the other person, or pretending not to. ~ Khadija Rupa


This morning I got up at 5:15am. I needed to get up at that hour in order to make everything run smoothly. I had a dentist appointment in the city, but before I got get to the appointment, I had to get my dad up, showered, dressed, downstairs for breakfast and then to his memory care center. It is hard enough to manage him, but I also have to herd my mom in the morning. She can easily lose track of hours of time! When I tell you this is my daily stress, I am not kidding. I can never just be responsible for myself. It is like caring for two toddlers 24/7, except my parents are both in their 80s and unlike a toddler, my two will not grow, mature, and become more independent. 

Though I live outside the beltway of the National Capital Area, I still drive back into the city for certain things, like my dentist. I have been going to the same dental practice since I was in my 20s! I practically grew up with this practice and in my opinion, it is worth the trip. The office is high tech, up on the latest techniques and practices, and above all they are VERY patient centered! I have yet to meet one person in the practice that needs a talking to, and if you know me, then you know this is the highest of compliments. I attribute this to the office being very well managed. 

The dental assistant helping me today is a love. I actually met her in June of 2020, when I had to get crowns on my teeth, post root canals. She remembered me and I remembered her. Why? Because we both share the same philosophy in life. We try to put others first and live our lives guided by compassion, kindness, and advocating for others. Any case, we had a great time chatting today, until I was numbed out with Novocain. At my last cleaning, my dentist warned me about one of my old silver filings. He felt that it was corroding and recommended I do something now. I learned the hard way that when your dentist tells you to replace a filling, you should do it and NOT put it off. I put changing the filings off in three of my teeth, and therefore needed three root canals in 2020. Which is why when he mentioned this to me in April, I booked today's appointment to get the filing replaced. Fortunately I did because he said this was a candidate for either decay or nerve damage. Just so you know, leaving silver fillings in too long has been shown to cause corrosion, micro-fracture, deep decay, nerve damage and cracked teeth. When an old silver filling loses its seal or begins to chip, bacteria can seep under the edges.

While in the city today, I drove past where I used to live. Not on purpose, it was just on the way to the dentist office. I also had to cross through the George Washington University campus. These are places I spent SO MUCH of my life. Now that I look at these places, it almost seems like these experiences happened to a different Vicki. Not the Vicki I am today. Life looked so different from me when I was a grad student and when I lived in the city. The city is where I raised Mattie, where I lived for over two decades with my husband, and where my family seemed intact, loving, and we were committed to one another. I do not know who this current Vicki is, but I wish I could snap my fingers and return to the way things used to be. I can't tell you how disorienting my life is, everything that I once knew to be true, ISN'T!

When I eventually got home today, there was a message awaiting me on my home phone! What was it about? My Prolia bill! The infusion center wants to get paid for my March injection. Of course they do, but I am NOT paying that bill until my co-pay goes through. For over a month, I have been fighting to get the $1,500 co-pay back on my card. It was accidently sent to the specialty pharmacy I used in the past to fill this prescription. However, I opted to change where I got this shot and this change has caused havoc. I have actually found a loop hole in the co-pay system. So now I have Amgen and the specialty pharmacy trying to work out the error. Meanwhile as they figure this out, I have the infusion center waiting to get paid. Any case, I was on the phone again with Amgen this evening for an hour! I worked with a senior rep who was lovely. She and last week's rep, escalated my compliant up the leadership ladder and they are investigating my claim. In any case, the rep promised to call me back next Friday with an update. I hope they work this out, because I am rapidly becoming exhausted from fighting the system! I have kept copious notes on this process, so when I talk to someone at Amgen, I can cite dates, issues, discussions, and resolutions. 

Three things I am grateful for:

  1. My dentist office. It is so refreshing to be surrounded by people committed to patient centered care. Despite all the drilling, I was very relaxed in the chair and for an hour I did not have demands, needs, and issues to resolve. 
  2. No traffic. I drove all over the place today, and was even able to drive to pick up Mattie Miracle mail! I have to time picking up Foundation mail with when I am physically closer to the city. Unfortunately the Foundation's mailbox is closer to where I used to live, than where I live now. 
  3. My mom and I went out for tea today. I was able to convince her to sit outside (something I love), rather than inside in air conditioning, which isn't good for her. My mom and dad for the most part dislike sitting outside. They are both afraid of getting insect bites. My dad got a mosquito bite two days ago, and I can't tell you the hell he is putting me through. I literally have to wrap his arms up to try to prevent him from scratching and causing an infection. Because of his dementia, my dad will just scratch and scratch and he can't process the damage he is doing to his skin. 

No comments: