Saturday, September 28, 2024

Saturday, September 28, 2024

Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2002. Mattie was five months old. I can't tell you how many gadgets we bought for Mattie when he was a baby. Not having any experience as a mom, I wasn't sure what was going to work. But this "tot wheels" was a one of my best purchases. Mattie loved standing on his feet, zooming around, and having his own independence. He would follow me all over the place in tot wheels and though the developmental goal at his age was to sit and crawl, Mattie did not want any of that. So I went with what he gravitated to. 

Quote of the day: Love is blind, but a broken heart sees everything. ~ Matshona Dhliwayo

I woke up at 8am today! In my house this is unheard of! But on Saturdays when my dad's physical therapist isn't scheduled, I am trying to get more rest. Once I did my usual morning routine, I sat down and started October's bill paying process. Last year after Peter left me, I was in scramble mode. I really did not have a feeling for money coming in or what needed to be paid. So far I have survived a year of bill paying and now that I will be entering year two of this nightmare, I have decided to do an excel spreadsheet per month. This helps me see the flow of money and how to budget things. I guess with more and more experience, I will see that I am able to do this. But I am still very anxious about bills and always waiting the next unexpected shoe to drop. When I tell you that I now dread going to the mailbox and receiving email, I am not kidding. 

Since it was a beautiful weather day, this evening I went outside to weed in the garden. In the process of weeding, I went along our property line and saw vines and debris that had to be cut back. While pulling debris, I put my garden shears on top of the garbage bin. Somehow they fell off the bin and right onto the top of my foot. Mind you I was wearing a closed garden shoe with rubber soles. It went right through the shoe and literally I saw a fountain of blood flowing out. I ran inside the house to deal with this crisis. I did not tell me parents, because neither of them are good in a crisis. I walked into our laundry room and literally sat there putting pressure on my foot and also had an ice cube on the gash. It took over thirty minutes to get this bleeding under control. When the gushing slowed down, I walked out to the garage, sat in the trunk of my car and accessed one of my first aide kits. 

When I tell you the kitchen looked like a crime scene I am not kidding. 

I checked, I had a tetanus shot in 2019. But I did write to my doctor anyway. I have already taken Advil and have ice on my foot because my entire foot is aching terribly. So much for trying to get outside, get something done, and have a diversion from my everyday stress, trauma, and heartache.