Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2008. It was Mattie's first month in treatment. It did not take Mattie's art therapists long to understand that Mattie LOVED to create. They also knew he loved Scooby Doo. So they designed a stenciled scene of all the Scooby Doo characters on a ceiling tile. Mattie and I worked on painting in this ceiling tile for weeks. When we finally finished it went up on the clinic's ceiling. Mattie designed many ceiling tiles while in treatment, and each time we entered the clinic, Mattie was proud to see his work on display.
Quote of the day: Stop calling your heart broken; your heart works just fine. If you are feeling love, anger, gratitude, or grief, it is because your heart is doing its work. Let it. ~ Maggie Smith
This afternoon, I took my parents out to Sunday brunch. This is a tradition we started when they moved in with us in 2021. Each Sunday, we go to the same restaurant and therefore we have gotten to know our server very well. Today, Cheryl was sick, so we worked with someone else.
I ordered a drink today called, a Blind Date. It is my one drink a week, and I happen to like this one because it is made with fresh grapefruit juice. In any case, when I ordered it, the server said to me.... who is the lucky guy? You know because I ordered a drink called a Blind Date. I literally heard him, but did not merit the comment with a response. First of all, he was a lot younger than me and second, I am in no mood for cutesy or come ons! I have enough on my plate, and seeking any sort of relationship now or into the future with a man is NOT going to happen.
As our meal continued, I analyzed this server and realized he needs the come on lines, because his ability to do his job is lacking. While in the restaurant, I text messaged Cheryl and told her that I disliked this server for his laziness and lack of attention to detail. Mind you when I entered the restaurant, I told the manager and the hostesses that I need a server who is attentive and can manage our multiple requests (they know us well, so when I say this, they know exactly what I mean). How they matched us up with this fellow is beyond me.
Any case, Cheryl confirmed my experiences with this man. We managed through the meal, but that was only because of my assertiveness and addressing all of my parents needs myself. Truly if you tick me off enough at a restaurant, I literally will get up and help myself to things and clear the table.
Dining with my dad is getting very challenging as he eats so fast, or doesn't eat at all and then lands up staring at us, waiting for us to finish. My dad is stuck inside his own head. He can't hold a conversation, has no desire to, hardly listens to us when we are talking and has no short term memory. I mean NONE! Of course no meal would be complete without trips to the bathroom, and today involved a complete changing.
I balance a great deal on any given day. I have given up aspects of my own life to either be a full time mom, to run the Foundation full time, to be a caregiver to my parents and the list goes on. I say this because when I am in a relationship, the needs of the other person are always extremely important to me. In some cases you could say others' needs override mine. For the most part these are my choices, but given all I have emotionally sacrificed in my life, I never thought I would be facing a divorce and life without my husband.
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