Mattie Miracle 15th Anniversary Video

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

February 22, 2025

Saturday, February 22, 2025

Saturday, February 22, 2025

Tonight's picture was taken in February of 2009. That day Mattie received boxes of Valentine cards from all four kindergarten classrooms at Mattie's school. In addition, a friend gave Mattie this huge lollipop! Mattie never ate it, he liked it too much and used it more like a magic wand! 


Quote of the day: There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. ~ Laurell K. Hamilton


This morning, my friend who is also enduring a similar situation as mine, wrote to me. In her writings, she shared this photo. She provided me with NO context, other than this photo! It did not take me more than a second to know what was being conveyed to me.... deep sorrow, loss, and trauma. I responded to her immediately because I wake up and go to sleep totally relating to her feelings each day. In the process of writing to her I wanted to know where she found this photo, because I wanted to know if these sculptures really existed somewhere.

I came to learn that this is a sculpture entitled, Dark Elegy by Suse Lowenstein. She is a sculpture artist and created this deeply moving tribute of family members devastated by the loss of their loved ones in the terrorist bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland (1988). In fact, the artist's son was killed on this flight and like so many of us who have traumatically lost a child, she had to put that horror somewhere. She needed an outlet for this traumatic loss and grief. She used her creativity and in the process these sculptures became a therapeutic tool for many other family members affected by this attack. 

This sculpture consists of 75 larger than life figures (comprised of stone and fiberglass). It depicts the very moment in which these women learned of the death of their loved one(s) aboard flight 103. This sculpture is located in Montauk, NY. 

Here is a two minute video clip of Suse Lowenstein:



In Suse Lowenstein's own words:

"As a sculptor, it is natural for me to shape, form and translate my emotions into large human figures. At this point I started creating other figures in various expressions of grief, pain and rage. When other women who had lost loved ones on Pam Am 103 learned of my work, many expressed a desire to contribute to this project called “DARK ELEGY.” One by one they come into my studio, step onto a posing platform, close their eyes and went back to December 21, 1988, to that horrible moment when they learned that their loved one had died. They allowed their bodies to fall into the position that it took upon hearing that most devastating news. Some scream, some beg, some weep, some pray, some curl into a ball, while others raise their fists in anger and despair. This is the moment that I freeze in time. This is the pose that I shape into sculpture. I have asked the women to give me a small memento of their loved one which I then place into the sculpture generally into the heart area. Sometimes it is a show lace, a sock, and earring, a photo, a poem or whatever they wish. One day these items will be found and provoke thoughts and remembrance. Each figure is inscribed with the names of both the woman posing and that of the person lost. In this way each sculpture becomes a private statement. I believe that is is quite unusual for someone to portray such tragic, raw emotion, not as an outsider looking in, but sadly as one of those portrayed."


Clearly how this artist and I lost our sons is very different, yet the psychosocial impact is quite similar. It is a loss that consumes your mind, body, and heart. Not just on the day it happens, but forever. Observing each of the 75 sculpted poses, resonated with me. It is the honest and visceral depiction of catastrophic loss and trauma. A loss that brings you to your knees literally and figuratively and if you have experienced such intense emotions, then seeing each of these sculpted bodies individually or in totality, provides the immediate response....... I UNDERSTAND! THIS IS ME! 

I realize that Dark Elegy is a visual memorial to loved ones who died in the Pan Am 103 attack, but I would say it is art that is universal. It speaks out to all of us who have faced an indescribable tragedy, a horrific and unexpected loss, and a trauma that has transformed us in ways that words can not possibly do justice. When there are NO WORDS, thankfully there are such life works like Suse Lowenstein's that helps us illustrate to others that this is HOW WE ARE FEELING!

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