Tuesday, June 14, 2016 -- Mattie died 352 weeks ago today. Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2005. This was what our deck used to look like when Mattie was alive. Literally it was filled with a kiddie pool, a sandbox, and tons of toys. We creatively would place our outdoor chairs and tables on the deck in order to accommodate all of Mattie's things. This tiny pool, with the spouting whale, was a cutie and a Mattie favorite. However as he got older he need bigger pools. I will never forget the inflatable pool he and Peter came home with one day. This thing literally took up over half of our deck space. It was quite the sight, but it brought Mattie hours of outdoor fun.
Quote of the day: In memory's telephoto lens, far objects are magnified. ~ John Updike
We do not live far from campus, so I pass this building often. In a way it is part of my neighborhood. But I haven't been inside this building and upstairs to the third floor where the counseling department is located since 2003, when I graduated with a Ph.D. Trying to obtain a Ph.D. is no easy task. If one gets such a degree it is a testament to one's persistence, tenacity, patience, and finesse. In fact, I remember my first night of statistics class. The statistics professor suggested we look around the room because only 10% of us in the room would make it to graduation. Very humbling, but I can see why!!!! I learned many lessons over my years and I always joked that if I finished I was going to go on Oprah. Because there can be many traumatic experiences associated with trying to become a member of this academic club.
I have been invited back to school, in this building to be exact, to give a talk tonight to graduate students about professional licensure and the process. Why me? Well because I am and have been the chair of the DC licensure board for years. This is a subject matter I know very well. Serving on this board is more than just about dolling out licenses. It is also about interfacing with the public, responding to ethical violations, holding hearings to determine how violations will be sanctioned and of course creating and modifying practice laws.
Nonetheless, I have to say it is a very awkward situation for me to have to walk back into that building. Even after all these years. It is within that building that I was a student, a totally different person, with a completely different lens. I had to journey to the third floor today to drop off some paperwork for tonight and I have to say I was totally uncomfortable there. That may sound absolutely bizarre, unless you have experienced what most graduate students go through. In a way, it is the same type of trauma as returning to the hospital where Mattie was treated.
I am no trauma expert, only a person who has experienced trauma, but I can personally say that each trauma seems to build up upon itself and though you may put issues into context and move forward, there are times when they rear their ugly head right back into your life and in a way you are transported back in time. Except in addition to that trauma, you have new ones of top of it to add insult to injury.
In any case, I return tonight to that very building and will face different fears, fears that occurred over a decade ago.
1 comment:
Vicki,
Traumas that a person experiences don't ever go away. I too, have had a few in my lifetime that I have eventually put into context. But each new trauma adds to the ones that happened earlier. Trauma does rear its ugly head at times, you least expect it. I am no trauma expert but I do know this to be true from personal experience. I find so many of the areas, you are involved, fascinating - being on a licensure board!
How was Tuesday night?
I was to the restaurant in Great Falls once, many years ago. It looks delightful! I am glad you had fun, that included flowers, with your friend today. Friendships are very important in life.
Post a Comment