Tonight's picture was taken during Mattie's first birthday in April of 2003. I actually received this photo in the mail about a year ago from Mattie's babysitter, Dana. Dana was an undergraduate student of mine, who would help me every Friday with Mattie when he was a toddler. Dana took this photo of Mattie and me at his first birthday party! Mattie was not a happy camper that day. He was overwhelmed by all the people and noise. As you can see Mattie wasn't thrilled to be held for a photo either. He was squirming and very irritable all day.
Quote of the day: It takes a great man to be a good listener. ~ Calvin Coolidge
Today is the 24th anniversary of my maternal grandmother's death. Seems like a long time ago doesn't it? Yet I still remember that day my mom called me on the phone to tell me my grandmother died and of course I remember my grandmother.
My grandmother lost her husband at an early age to colon cancer. She also had three children, but lost her second child to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Of course when I knew my grandmother (who always lived with my parents after her husband died) I was a child and then a teenager. Unfortunately George Bernard Shaw was correct.... youth is wasted on the young.
I say unfortunately because I never spoke to my grandmother about her husband's death or the death of her child. I was cognizant of both losses, but being so young I had absolutely NO understanding for what such losses actually meant or felt like. You don't dwell on such unpleasantness when you are a child. But now, I sit back and wonder...... how did my grandmother manage all of these losses?
I don't have an answer per se, but if I had to surmise, she managed because of my mom. My grandmother always wanted a daughter, and when she got one after the loss of her second child, I think it helped. Certainly my mom did not replace her son, but my grandmother was able to direct her focus onto my mom. In turn, after my grandmother's husband died, my mom stepped in to help her. As I have learned, it is the support of someone close to you, who really takes care of your every need that truly helps one find his/her way back into the world again. Altered, but living.
The day my grandmother died, I was living in Boston attending a master's program in biochemistry. I literally had a dream in which my grandmother was talking to me and handed me red roses. As I went to grab the roses from her, all of the petals fell from the roses. It was at that point, that my phone rang and woke me up. On the other end of the phone was my mom calling to tell me about my grandmother. But in actuality she did not need to tell me, because based on the dream I was awoken from I knew it was a sign. My grandmother was saying good-bye. Twenty four years later and I can still recall that moment in time as if it was just happening.
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