Saturday, November 12, 2022

Saturday, November 12, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2003. Mattie was a year and a half old and was at his first fall festival. It was a bit overwhelming for Mattie, but one thing he gravitated to was the pumpkins. Each fall, we would have quite a collection of these orange orbs in our home from each of the festivals Mattie attended. 

Quote of the day: Here’s what I know: death abducts the dying, but grief steals from those left behind. Katherine Owen

While making breakfast this morning, I saw Peter walking by the window with this very large branch. Can you see it? Surrounded by trees, makes it a daily routine for Peter of walking around and collecting sticks and branches. Mattie would have absolutely love it, as he was a big collector of things from nature. 

Later in the morning, we took my parents to the farmer's market. My mom and I shop and Peter walks laps with my dad. As we are trying to get his step count up per day. What Peter and I observe however is the Ritalin prescribed for my dad is making NO noticeable difference. 

In 2018, we took this photo at the Mattie Miracle Walk. The woman in orange is Marisa. We have known her since she was in high school. She got to know Mattie when he was battling cancer and then after his death, she has run our bake sale at all of our events. She has become part of the family. 

This afternoon, Peter and I attended Marisa's wedding social. She got married in September in Italy, but hosted this lovely event for all her local friends and family. She got the best weather day, as this venue had an incredible rooftop terrace. Of course to leave home to attend this was a feat, but we were committed to making this happen. Having a few hours to ourselves was very needed, as I am very strung out and exhausted.

The drinks and hors d'oeuvres were excellent. They made a specialty drink for the wedding called an aperol spritzer. It was orange and to me it screamed out Mattie Miracle. Given that we only knew the bride and her family, it produced less stress on us to chat and make small talk with people. Instead, we sat outside, got fresh air, ate, and tried to unwind. A novel concept, as I never have a meal in peace anymore. 

The happy couple, Marisa and Andrew. We wish them a world of happiness.

Of course my lens is forever skewed. As I told Peter, I no longer look at happy events the same way. As I too was like this at one time. Getting married, with life in front of me. However, life had a different plan for us. It is hard not to feel bitter, isolated, and very different from the rest of the world. I certainly can now feel happy for others and at the same acknowledge my own path. I couldn't do this years ago, but despite this growth in myself, the outcome for me is still the same.