A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



June 24, 2023

Saturday, June 24, 2023

Saturday, June 24, 2023

Tonight's picture was taken on June 18, 2006. Mattie was four years old and we were out celebrating Father's Day. Mattie loved Clyde's restaurants and the irony is now decades later, I am back dining weekly at Clyde's because my parents love it too. When dining with Mattie, I traveled with a bag of tricks. You name it... puzzles, books, toy cars, toy trains, crayons, activity books, you get the picture!!! In this photo you can see Mattie and Peter busy at work while we were waiting for our food. 


Quote of the day: My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present. ~ Steve Goodier


Typically on a Saturday, my dad's physical therapist comes over and works with him for an hour. However, she couldn't come over today, because she had an in service training at the hospital. In many ways, less structure on a Saturday is a good thing. I was able to go to the farmer's market with my mom after I got my dad settled in his recliner. 

One of the farmer's at the market has taken a liking to me and my family and she LOVES to talk with me. I know about almost everyone in her family and the challenges she faces with each. I am not talking about short conversations either. She can talk to me for an hour or more. Because I know this will happen, I brought my dad's rollator to the market today since I knew my mom couldn't stand for that long period of time. The beauty of the rollator is it has wheels, a seat, and brakes. My intentions were good, but what I noticed after about an hour, was that my mom was worn out (even from sitting with the rollator). I had to take her back to the car, while I finished shopping. 

It is moments like these that remind me that I am absolutely correct! There is no way my mom can travel by herself and though she wants to go away and even go on a cruise, it just is no longer possible. Her physical therapist even told her that she has to master walking on pavement and uneven surfaces first! 

You would think that going to the farmer's market would be a positive and good diversion. Certainly it is, but it is also wearing. Mainly because I need someone to listen to me for an hour, not the other way around. Since I was a child, people loved to talk with me. I am truly interested in people, their lives, and experiences. Despite how exhausted I am now, I still care about people and their well-being. I understand the importance of talking and that not everyone has an outlet. So after listening and chatting at the farmer's market, I came back home further depleted. Of course there was no resting for me, as I came back to laundry, other chores, and then drove my parents to Maryland for lunch. 

The highlight of my day was working for about thirty minutes in our garden. I went outside and weeded with Peter. Who knew that weeding could be so therapeutic!?

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