Monday, July 10, 2023

Monday, July 10, 2023

Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2007. This was classic Mattie in the bathtub. He could stay in there for hours, playing around, and this was his rendition of "Santa Mattie!" What a face and his antics will never be forgotten. I can't tell you how many toys Mattie would dump in the tub along with himself, I truly think he was all about playing and not about bathing. 

Quote of the day: Where words fail, music speaks. ~ Hans Christian Andersen

Today I learned that our dear friend Tim died from pancreatic cancer. Tim was our philanthropy contact at Georgetown Hospital for many years. Tim took an immediate liking to me and Peter and he devoted his time to reading the blog, learning about Mattie, and finding ways to support our cause. Tim was a fierce patient advocate and it is thanks to Tim, that he made sure we received Georgetown's Flame of Hope Award in 2014

You can see that there are many prestigious names attached to this award. We were the recipients in 2014, and to this day, this award sits in my office, proudly on display! This award will always mean a great deal to me, because I still consider Georgetown our medical home. 

In addition to the Flame of Hope award, Tim donated this paver to the hospital in memory of Mattie! This paver is at the front entrance of the hospital. Whenever I am at Georgetown, I always visit this spot. I will be forever grateful to Tim and can't imagine a world without this sweet, vivacious, humorous, and powerful soul. 

Hearing about Tim's death today, truly hit me hard. I felt he was sending me a message that..... I have to take care of myself. That I have to make time for myself in the day and if one doesn't take care of one's self, all sorts of things can arise. 

So this afternoon, after addressing all of my parents needs and having dinner prepped, I got on my sneakers and left the house! I had a migraine, felt very anxious, and could feel a panic attack coming on! So I knew I had to change my usual pattern. Walking! That is the only thing I have control over in my life, so I did it! I did not take my mom, I did not take Sunny, I just took myself out! 

I plugged into my phone and listened to Carly Simon. I am a big Carly Simon fan and I haven't listened to her music in years. I literally walked for three miles, and not slow sauntering, but speed walking, like I used to do in the city. For this walk, I felt more alive than I have in two years! With each step, I could feel anger, stress, and disillusionment slip from my head and body. 

One of the songs I heard was...... Coming around again (see below)!

Coming around again could have been written for me, but I have no doubt thousands of people relate to it! What it reminded me was that all things in life are temporary. Not to give up hope. Though I may feel depleted, depressed, angry, exhausted, and isolated...... caregiving, like cancer, has not altered who I am at the core. Thank you Tim (and Carly Simon) for reminding me that we all fall apart, but life does COME AROUND AGAIN!