Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2009. Mattie was invited to his friend's birthday party. Naturally Mattie looked and acted differently from the other children, but he tried hard to blend in. In addition, I remember he was asserting his independence and did not want me hovering or helping. Nonetheless, I was never far away given that Mattie had broviac catheters attached to his chest and he was unable to walk. I also knew that parties and events that involved healthy children were also emotionally taxing for Mattie. Though he was six years old, he absorbed and felt a lot and was well aware that other children were staring at him and at times afraid of him because of how he looked.
Quote of the day: Dogs…do not ruin their sleep worrying about how to keep the objects they have, and to obtain the objects they have not. There is nothing of value they have to bequeath except their love and their faith. ~ Eugene O'Neill
I had a hard time getting up this morning. When I finally did, I looked out the window and saw everything covered in snow. Though I think snow is pretty, what snow symbolizes to me is.... being trapped. It is harder to get my parents outside, my dad's memory care center was closed, and snow further limits my life. However, the one blessing was my neighbor came over and he hand shoveled our walkways and driveway. What a beautiful Samaritan, because I couldn't take this on myself. My plate is full, especially when I am not feeling well.
After I showered, I started making phone calls. I wanted to secure an appointment with my urologist and my kidney stone doctor. I called the urology office first and spoke to a fellow. The earliest appointment he could get me was next week. He then spouted off some sort of policy to me about what issues and problems the doctors in the office deem an emergency. Needless to say a urinary tract infection wasn't top on their list. I literally gave it to him, and I said that who ever made that policy has never had to live with UTI pain, including him. Needless to say I kept the Monday appointment, but wasn't happy.
I also wrote an email diatribe directly to my physician. Since my parents moved here, I haven't seen my physician. I used to see this doctor every six months because of my extensive bladder issues. So true, I haven't been taking care of myself. Today, I put myself and my health issues first. Later in the morning, I got a call back from the urology office manager, because my physician told him to call me. He got me an appointment for Thursday. Before hanging up with him, I told him about my prior experience with his staff person this morning, who basically dismissed my pain. He apologized, said he would talk to the staff, because if a patient presents with pain, the patient needs to always be referred over to the nursing staff. Which of course did not happen on my first phone call. All I know is Mattie's cancer journey taught me that the only way you get the care you need is you have to be assertive and at times aggressive.
Despite the snow and slippery conditions, I drove myself to the hospital in the city to get a KUB (kidney, ureter, and bladder) x-ray. I take one of these x-rays each year to monitor my kidney stones. In any case, I made sure the order was in the system, and then decided this was the perfect day to go to the hospital, as most people will be staying home and not coming out in the snow. I was correct. Parking at Mattie's hospital was super easy and I had little to no wait time in radiology. Another blessing. Hopefully I will get these results soon, so that I can rule out a kidney stone causing my current pain. I want to be armed with this information before Thursday's doctor visit.
This is a photo of the pastry my mom and shared tonight. My friend Junko gave me several pastries to enjoy, and we literally have worked our way through each and every one.
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