Wednesday, January 17, 2024Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2009. Mattie was home between cancer treatments and that day he received a gift in this Styrofoam container. As you can see, Mattie took the Styrofoam and put tape around it and transformed it into a bicycle helmet. The beauty of Mattie. How I wish Mattie were alive today, because I have a feeling he would be an incredible support and ally.
Quote of the day: There’s such beauty in the hard honesty of that, in accepting and giving love while always aware it comes with an unbearable price. Maybe loving dogs is a way we do penance for all the other illusions we allow ourselves and for the mistakes we make because of those illusions. ~ Dean Koontz
This morning, after getting my dad up, ready, and to his memory care center, I then drove to Sunny's oncology practice. I donated five bags of things.... food, treats, and medication. Removing these items from the house really did not seem disrespectful, as these things do not define Sunny. In fact, on the kitchen counter, I had three bins full of medication. Where those bins used to sit, I put a little display of acorns and two charms... a sunflower and a butterfly. I will have to take a photo of that.
I was out several times today and I worried I would miss the UPS man. I knew Sunny's ashes were going to be delivered today, and I was required to be home and to sign for them. But it was meant to be!
At around 4pm, I saw his truck pull up. I got my coat on and met him half way up the driveway. He was a lovely man and he began to comment on my neighbor's construction chaos in our cul de sac. NOT a topic you want to discuss with me. He told me that every time he comes down our street our circle is a hot mess. I told him, he should try living here. In any case, I was deeply touched that such a kind and sensitive man delivered my Sunny's ashes.
This evening, I started setting up this special place in my office! My Sunny corner. You can see the beautiful wooden box filled with Sunny's ashes. On the box is a plaque that reads...
Sunny Brown
Forever our Sunman
2011-2024
I will be working on a glass photo display of Sunny and will build upon this area over time. But I am very grateful for friends sending me cards and this beautiful angel.
This evening, I had my weekly counseling session. I canceled last week's because of Sunny's death. We had a lot to catch up on and there are times she and I do not see eye to eye. However, I have no problem expressing myself, getting my points across and describing how I am feeling and my outlook on life. My outlook on life is non-existent at the moment. I am quite sure if my parents weren't alive, she would probably be extremely worried about me. But for now, they need me, and therefore I go on.
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