Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. Though Mattie's hospital room was extremely small, I was always amazed at how many people we typically had in the room at one time. Sitting with Mattie were Whitney and Lesley, child life interns. The cute fellow peeking out the doorway was Brandon, Mattie's buddy in cancer. Mattie and Brandon were diagnosed with cancer around the same time. By this point, Brandon was off treatment, but he still came to the hospital on a regular basis to visit with Mattie. Brandon lived an hour away from the hospital, so his visits were a real commitment. I will never forget these special people who were so generous with their time, support, and friendship. They made a difference in our daily existence.
Quote of the day: The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master. ~ Ben Hur Lampman
Around noon I took my parents to CVS to get their COVID boosters. I am in this pharmacy so often that the staff and pharmacists have gotten to know us. This same particular pharmacist has worked with us on boosters and the flu shot before. I tried to pre-register my parents and even got them to wear clothes that made it easy to access their arms for a shot. Any time I have both of them in tow, it is a concerted effort and it requires a lot of forethought to make things run smoothly. I am not sure they are aware of all I do, but I understand the importance.
Once we were done with shots, my mom wanted to go to Starbuck's. I typically do not take my dad there because the last time we went he did not like what I got him to drink and eat. Before getting out of the car, I had my mom go inside to make sure she could secure a table with chairs. If she couldn't, then I wasn't going to get my dad out of the car. She found a spot, so we all went in. Of course, it is hysterical. As soon as I walk in the door, people say..... Hello Victoria. I reminds me of the classic TV Show, Cheers! Since the staff know me, it tells you how often I go to Starbuck's. Starbuck's truthfully is better than going to therapy. I am not sure why. I think it is the fact that there is activity, the store has a real community feel, and typically when I go there, I try to take a mental reprieve from my existence. Today the staff could see that I was balancing both of my parents, so literally they were bringing stuff back and forth to the table for me. What wonderful people!
Today I was recalling to my mom my very first therapy client in graduate school. This was a bright young man who worked for a well known think tank in Washington, DC. Yet despite all he had going for him, he had clinical depression. He evaluated his life through the window of a Starbuck's store. Literally! He would recount that on his way to work, he would look in the window and see people having coffee, chatting, connecting, and seeming to be living and interacting with the world. He wanted to know why he wasn't one of those people! In fact, if he was one of those people, then he felt that meant he wasn't depressed.
Though I was only twenty something at the time, I had enough of a where with all to encourage him to question his theory. Because someone was inside a Starbuck's did not mean they were happy, had a good social life, and weren't depressed. In fact, I remember telling him that some people maybe in the store looking out, seeing you walking by, looking professional and asking themselves.... why can't I be more like him? He truthfully did not know how to respond to me.
I recall this conversation so vividly, because now that I am in a Starbuck's looking out or looking all around me, it is so easy to do what my client did! Evaluate everyone else as more stable and happier than me. When I find myself doing this, I remember the dialogue I had many, many years ago with my client. I may have helped him in the long run, but ironically now many years later, he is now the one helping me.
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