Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. I will never forget this day. We were all in attendance of the hospital's launch of the children's art gallery. Mattie worked on several creations for this event for months! So it was a big day for him. There was a ceremony, musician volunteers made the event festival, and there was a little party! The gallery has a long ramp that runs through it. Mattie and his buddy, Meg (a child life intern), were having fun zooming down the ramp. As you can see Mattie's nurse, Kathleen, was snapping photos! This whole space is really quite sacred to me. Whenever I visit the hospital, you can bet I always find my way to this gallery.
Quote of the day: If a dog has brightened your life and every day silently accepted your tears without judgement snuggled with you forgiven your faults and loved you unconditionally, then you know what a gift dogs are to this world. ~ Anonymous
Today was quite the day. While my dad had his physical therapy session at home, I did grocery shopping. I literally flew through the store, as I don't like leaving my parents home for too long without my presence. When I got home, after dealing with groceries, I had two phone calls to make. One was down right hysterical. My dad get's a pension from a company he worked for in New York. I am trying to learn about all their assets and expenditures. I was particularly interested in whether his pension can have beneficiaries. What stuns me about my dad is he really did not think about any sort of insurances or support for my mom, if he should die. This is truly stunning since we always deemed him the king of insurance.
Any case, I was on the phone with the pension company and what an experience it was. The woman couldn't find my dad in her system. I gave her his social security number and birth date. She kept saying.... he isn't in the system. She then said in a condescending tone.... when you find his social security card, you will probably find that you are giving me the wrong number! WRONG, WRONG, and WRONG! I am sure the average person would have hung up as she worked hard at dismissing me. She basically said she couldn't help me and neither could her supervisor, who I insisted on talking to, but she wouldn't pass me along to him! If you are a loyal reader, then you know I don't give up easily. I literally gave it to this woman on the phone. So she then asked, whether I had a 1099 for his pension? I ran upstairs to my mom's filing cabinet and found it. Which she wasn't expecting. She had me read the social security number on the 1099. Naturally it was the same number I gave her earlier. So at that point, she actually had to connect me with her supervisor. THANK GOD! He was lovely!
The supervisor apologized for what I experienced. But here's the thing! The woman I was speaking to clearly had dyslexia, which her supervisor and I quickly determined. Let's say I said that my dad's last four digits of his social security number were 2626 (I am just giving you an example). When the supervisor read the number back to me that was recorded by the woman I had just spoken with, she recorded it as 6262. No wonder she couldn't find my dad in her system. Which is why the supervisor apologized. Then he explained how RARE pensions are these days. So rare that his company only has a few people working in that division. Gone are the days when companies provided for their employees' retirement! A real sign of the times. Any case, thanks to the supervisor, I now have the direct number to the person who can answer my questions.
That was only the first call. The second call was to a company that my dad purchased pre-arrangements for funerals back in 2009. I truly did not know he did this, but the company sent us some communication a few weeks ago. Turns out when my dad paid for cremations it was to a specific funeral home in California. Clearly, they aren't going back there. So now I have to look into trying to transfer the policy to a funeral home in Virginia. Fortunately my dad chose a funeral home in California that is part of nation wide chain. The insurance agent said that because I am trying to do an in-network transfer, that this should work out. Nonetheless, she coached me that some funeral homes will try to upsell me or write a new contract, to reflect the cost of cremations with 2024 prices. I can't get over that in 2009, my dad was able to buy a cremation for under $2,000.
Any case, I have to await paperwork in the mail before I can pursue this transfer. If the transfer goes through, that means that a funeral home near me will perform a cremation for the price my dad paid for it in 2009. Frankly the whole thing is creepy and I do not like having to focus on this topic. Yet I also know my dad paid for a service and unless I manage this now, the money he spent on both policies will go out the window. Needless to say it was a sobering day.
All these calls made my mom very anxious. As she was listening in and pacing. Once I was off the phone she wanted to go to Starbucks. I try not to take my dad there, because it is typically busy and not always easy to find a table and chairs. I sent my mom in to secure a table, and thankfully a gentleman was observing her and helped her get access to a table and chairs. Literally juggling them in Starbucks is not an easy feat. My dad needs a chair pad, my mom needs a blanket, and both need help sitting and getting closer to the table. Then of course I have to order and set up the food and drinks for them. I am very grateful that the Starbucks staff help me with the running around. Eating with my dad is an experience. I believe his eating style is influenced by dementia, because as soon as he sees food, he shovels it into his mouth. Whether it belongs to him or to someone else at the table. I literally have to move our food away from him, otherwise we would get nothing to eat.
Though Starbucks is only five minutes away from our house, when I got him home, we did not make it inside fast enough. He had already pooped in his pants. Some days, all the stress I manage, I am ready to jump out of my skin. So after I got him settled, I went outside and picked up a bin full of branches and sticks. It is my therapy.
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