Tuesday, October 8, 2024

Tuesday, October 8, 2024 -- Mattie died 783 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2004. Mattie was two and half years old and we took him to a fall festival that weekend. In fact, fall festivals were our tradition. We went to many of them for at least three or four years. Mattie loved them. He loved all things pumpkin and as he got older, he loved the slides, activities, and hay wagon rides. As a kid, I never went to a fall festival. So when Mattie came around, I got to experience so many adventures with him and through his eyes.  

Quote of the day: I understand it, but I don’t like it. I wish we could all be together like before: best friends, not heartbroken strangers. ~ Amy Plum

For over a year, I have been dealing with a neighbor who has basically been trying to transform her entire house and property. Construction, debris, noise, and congestion! These are things I have gotten used to, which wasn't too hard, after all, as I lived in the city for over 20 years. But I expected a different sort of existence in the suburbs. So far, I would say it is over rated and there are aspects of the suburbs that I have come to dread, despise, and will never forget. I will leave it at that. Today's congestion was over the top! Can you see that my driveway was blocked??? Naturally I pitched a fit, but if I did not advocate for myself, do you think anyone else was going to? If you answered no, you earned yourself a GOLD star! 

I had high hopes of wanting to complete another hour of continuing education today for my license. In usual fashion here, the day spiraled out of control. First my mom's physical therapy came to do an evaluation of her. What I thought was going to be a 20 minute session turned out to be an hour. Ironically I learned a little more about this man's life. His wife was an artist, she loved to paint still life and landscapes, and she died of ovarian cancer. He says whenever he comes into our home, it reminds him of the home he shared with his wife. This man was married for 32 years, in love with his wife, and was her caregiver until the day she died. A rare breed. This is the type of man, I thought I was married to, so hearing this story, sent like an electric wave throughout my body, to the point, where I could feel my anxiety level rise. 

I showed my mom's therapist four of the paintings I bought from the local artist I love. The same artist working on the two pieces for our family room. In any case, he told me he had been admiring these pieces and they reminded him of the work his wife used to do. Though he has been a widow for a couple of years, he told me there is no way he would consider dating or marrying again. I absorbed what he said, and I told him I understood. I did not tell him about Mattie or Peter, but naturally his experiences resonate with me. 

After the therapist left, I went ten rounds with my mom's long term care insurer. This insurer is making me crazy. Each time I talk with them, they appear clueless about her policy and what the policy offers. It borders on an infuriating experience and trying to get a hold of her care coordinator, is like trying to swim through quicksand. 

On top of this, I learned about a crime report for our neighborhood and had to get information about this which lead me to calling the police and speaking to neighbors. So needless to say, my training class NEVER happened today. 

I also received a call about enrolling my dad into Medicare's Guide program. This is a program that is supposed to SUPPORT the family caregiver of an Alzheimer's patient. Sounds good in theory, until you dig deeper. The program entails training classes and perhaps a 24 hour support line. I literally LAUGHED at this person. I told him I have been juggling the impossible for three years now. I could give my own class on managing a person with Alzheimer's, I certainly don't need more training. I told him if Medicare actually wants to be of help, then they would provide more on the ground supports for family caregivers, supports that would actually enable us to get the respite that we need. You are going to love this.... part of the Guide program's benefit is they offer caregivers $2,500 a year for respite services! If you know anything about respite care, $2,500 is a complete joke! Any case, I gave this man a mouthful, told him the system is broken, and that Medicare only supports patients and their families who are in medical crisis. They aren't interested in preventive care, or care that would enable the patient with Alzheimer's to maintain independence within the community. If they were truly interested in helping the caregiver, then they would be talking directly to us about our needs and assessing what actual supports are required. Giving us access to standardized training, that may not be applicable to our loved one, is like putting a Band-Aid on a patient who is bleeding out. POINTLESS, but at least they can check the box!

I brought this beauty inside today. It is a portulaca. The flowers close up at night and open by day!