Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2005. As you can see Mattie was riding the LEGOLAND Express. Mattie loved all things with wheels, and was always enamored by trains. All kinds!!! Mattie was able to ride in the front of this cute train and was thrilled to be the conductor.
Quote of the day: We become what we think about. ~ Earl Nightingale
Last night, my parents and I saw the movie Sully at home. For those of you who have never seen the movie, here is a synopsis:
On January 15, 2009, US Airways pilots Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger and First Officer Jeff Skiles board US Airways Flight 1549 from LaGuardia Airport to Charlotte Douglas International Airport. Three minutes into the flight, at an approximate altitude of 2,800 feet, the Airbus A320 strikes a flock of birds, disabling both engines. Without engine power and judging themselves unable to reach nearby airports (Teterboro Airport being the closest), Sully ditches the aircraft on the Hudson River. The crew and passengers evacuate without casualty (all 155 people survived). The press and public hail Sullenburger a hero, but the incident leaves him haunted, and experiencing a dream in which the plane crashes into a building.
Sully learns that preliminary data suggest that the port engine was still running at idle power. Theoretically, this would have left him with enough power to return to LaGuardia or land at Teterboro. The National Transportation Safety Board claims that several confidential computerized simulations show the plane
could have landed safely at either airport without engines. Sully, however, insists that he lost both engines, which left him without sufficient time, speed, or altitude to land safely at any airport.
Sully realizes that the Board believes the accident may have been pilot error, which would end his career. He arranges to have the simulations rerun with live pilots, and the results are relayed to the public hearing. Both simulations result in successful landings, one at each airport. Sully argues that they are unrealistic because the pilots knew in advance of the situation they would face and of the suggested emergency action, and were able to practice the scenario several times. The board accepts that in real life the pilots would have taken some time to react and run emergency checks before deciding to divert the plane.
The two simulations are rerun and relayed to the hearing, this time allowing a 35-second pause before the plane is diverted. The simulated diversion to LaGuardia ends with the plane landing short of the runway, and to Teterboro with a crash into buildings before the airport. The board announces that analysis of the port engine, now recovered from the river, confirms Sully's account that it was disabled by the bird strikes. The board concludes that Sullenberger acted correctly in selecting the best of the options available to him, which in the event saved the lives of everyone aboard.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Captain Sullenberger is the first known pilot to land a commercial airplane in water successfully, causing no casualties. He was a true hero and 154 people owe their lives to him. As the captain so humbly acknowledged, everyone was a hero that day from the flight crew, the passengers, and all the rescue works. As several NY ferries came to rescue passengers and crew in the water. Amazingly can you imagine that it took only about twenty minutes to rescue all 155 from the water onto the ferries? It speaks to the incredible community of people in New York who truly made that a Miracle on the Hudson.
We took Mattie on a NY ferry a week before flight 1549 went down. Mattie was in NYC for his second visit to Memorial Sloan Kettering, to begin his experimental treatment. Despite spending hours upon hours in the hospital, we tried to do some fun and memorable things with Mattie. Since it was January and freezing, we thought that a ferry ride made the most sense given Mattie was in a wheelchair and depleted from treatment. The sad part of all of this is a week later on this water, US Airways 1549 made an emergency landing, and being disengaged from the world, I truly heard only bits and pieces of what was going on in the news. Why?Because when Mattie was battling cancer, the world stopped for me. It was NO LONGER important to know current events, or frankly anything else that was happening outside of Mattie's hospital room. It was a very different way of living life, because it was very much present focused, practically with minute to minute crises. There was no more room in my mind or spirit to take in anything else. That said, I had the where with all to know that a flight went down in the Hudson and that people were rescued by a similar boat that we took with Mattie the week before, but that was the extent of it.
While 155 people were experiencing a trauma in the air, I was experiencing a trauma on the ground. It is truly hard to comprehend how any of us survive and thrive after all that we have seen and lived through. Yet here we are. What I appreciated about the movie was it confronted the aftermath of which Captain Sully was left to contend with, which was PTSD. As such he had trouble concentrating on anything other than the flight, was unable to sleep, eat, and talk to people. Instead he did a lot of jogging, had limited conversations with people, and wasn't sure how he was going to make it to the next day. Of course this is a different trauma from childhood cancer, but the aftermath in terms of symptoms is quite similar. I may know these symptoms on a cerebral level as a mental health professional, but having experienced them first hand, I was able to relate to the captain on a very personal level.
Sully, the crew, passengers, and rescue workers are without a doubt courageous and heroes in our eyes. Yet the ironic part is none of these people view themselves this way. To them, they were just doing what was necessary or part of their job! This is NOT too far off from parents who are caring for a child with cancer. So many people look at what we do or have done, and are in awe. Yet as a parent you do whatever it takes to try to achieve the elusive CURE. With that said however, what parents endure day after day, and year after year with childhood cancer make them special and in their child's eyes true heroes.
* Note: I am not in any way trying to equate a flight going down in the Hudson River to childhood cancer. I am simply trying to point out what the film evoked in me, as I am living through the trauma of child loss.
1 comment:
Vicki, I think your point was spot on. Both were terrible trauma, unlike in every way but traumatic nonetheless. The crew of the plane did not feel heroic but responsibly doing their job. Who knows the amount of PTSD is still being experienced by the crew or passengers. BUT everyone survived because the Captain & crew. Did their jobs and could!
Childhood Cancer is a traumatic event. People are in awe of parents yet a parent will do anything to help their child. I had a parent say to me one time, everyone thinks, I am so strong but what choice do I have. I have to be strong for my child..Childhood Cancer robs families of everything including choice. This life wasn't chosen but somehow you all have to live it and be strong.. Some say God doesn't give us more than we can handle and I say yes, He does. Because no parent anywhere wakes up able to handle Childhood Cancer or the death & forever loss of their child.
I believe at some point, we all may experience PTSD from something that occurred in our life. I did not think for one minute you were comparing the downed plane to a childhood cancer diagnosis. The Captain of this planne, his crew, passengers could eventually find their way out of their feeling. A childhood Cancer diagnosis, the loss of a child is a forever loss that creates a lasting PTSD.
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