Friday, May 24, 2024

Friday, May 24, 2024

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2005. That weekend we took Mattie to the DC Aquatic Gardens. One of my favorite places to visit. It is a hidden gem in the city and filled with beautiful lotus plants, water lilies, and bird traffic. As you maybe able to tell, Mattie wanted to move about and did not want to sit still for this photo! But he did as he knew my love for capturing all of our moments together. Not just special occasions, but most especially the daily routine. 

Quote of the day: You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman

Midday I took my mom to Starbucks. We have gotten to know a local author, who frequents the store and even writes there! She has been gone for ten days on a European trip. She decided to go on this trip by herself because her husband did not want to go. I have to tell you when she told me this three weeks ago, I paused. I could not fathom going on a trip by myself, much less across an ocean to a foreign country. I have too many hang ups and anxiety, as I don't think from a safety perspective it is a good thing to travel alone. Putting that aside, I used to be a people person and as such I prefer experiencing things with others. Others that I know. Any case, the author is back and we got a chance to catch up with her. I literally told that I give her a gold star for courage and bravery to travel alone. She laughed but she understood what I meant. 

One of the many wonderful things about being in a relationship is that you are never alone. You can bounce things off of each other, share life's ups and downs, and in the process grow, develop, and evolve together. In my life, for the last 35 years, Peter was always a significant part of my existence. It is hard to describe the loss I live with, and perhaps that this the complexity of an ambiguous loss. A loss when your loved one is still alive, but no longer part of your life. My mind and heart are in a constant cyclical pattern DAILY of trying to understand how I got to where I am today. Of course, I have no answer, or real insights. As we were not a couple with historical problems (other than the obvious of losing Mattie!). 

When I got home today, I opened up a big envelope and out popped these beautiful 3-D sunflowers. My friend and colleague, Nancy sent them to me, in support of the Foundation's Walk season. These cuties are now in my office, there to remind me of the solid friendships I have formed over the years. A reminder that those who know me, value, and appreciate the qualities I bring to our connections. 

It was 78 degrees today and though it is a hassle to serve dinner outside, I did it anyway. It is a hassle because no meal is complete without my dad jumping up and down to the bathroom. The logistics of getting in and out of the house are challenging for my dad. But as long as we can do it, I am doing it! 

Even Indie enjoyed time outside! She has taken over Sunny's spot on the couch. Though Sunny has been gone for four months, his presence and love are NEVER forgotten. 

This morning I changed the sugar water in the hummingbird feeders. These little birds are finicky. If the water turns cloudy in any way, they won't drink it. As soon as I put the fresh water out, they were all a flutter! Can you see this little bird on the right?

This blue birdhouse attracts blue birds. Do you see the blue bird with the orange breast sitting on the hook? Every spring the blue birds come back and nest in this house. They are like clock work! 

The three things I am grateful for today:

1. Sunflowers and the beautiful sunflower card I received in the mail. 
2. Indie and her antics. 
3. Eating outside and seeing the beauty of our backyard. A space I fell in love with in 2021.