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Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. Mattie jumped into bed mid-day, fully dressed. We recently had purchased these Bob the Builder sheets, and he absolutely loved them! To me this photo said it all! Big smile and true happiness.
Quote of the day: Doctoring her seemed to her as absurd as putting together the pieces of a broken vase. Her heart was broken. Why would they try to cure her with pills and powders? ~ Leo Tolstoy
When I tell you today was OVER the top, I am NOT kidding. My day started with the usual chores. At 10am, our landscaper came over, as I wanted to talk with him about weeds in the grass and other issues. I have known Ritchie since we moved into the house. I knew him, but it was Peter who mostly interfaced with him. However, what I have learned is that both Ritchie and my irrigation specialist have also been abandoned by their spouses. I wasn't expecting to share these commonalities, but it is fascinating to see how people respond to me being alone. Honestly the responses are NOT what I expect to happen! I expect to hear, I am sorry, and we move on with conversation. That is NOT what happens! In each case, both men, were truly stunned, saddened, shared their own stories, gave me hugs, tried to instill hope, and then unsolicited, each one told me that I am an extraordinary and strong woman. I find this intriguing coming from people on the periphery of my life. This was the highlight of my day. It went downhill from there.
When I got back into the house, I called both the Prolia Co-Pay assistance program and the specialty pharmacy that used to fill my Prolia prescription. Recap, for two weeks now, I have been trying to access my $1,500 co-pay to pay for the Prolia injection I received in March. Without insurance or co-pay assistance, the drug is $1,800 per dose. Which is why most patients sign up for Amgen's co-pay program to help off set the astronomical cost. Any case, my co-pay landed up in the wrong place and for the last two weeks I have been trying to get the co-pay refunded back to my card, so that I can actually apply them to the place that is billing me. When I tell you the process has been mind numbing, I am not kidding. As Amgen (who runs the co-pay program) says the specialty pharmacy has the co-pay and the pharmacy is telling me they refunded the amount back to my Amgen card. OH MY GOD!
Today I was on the phone for THREE hours! This is not an exaggeration. After three hours, I learned that the money has been refunded and now I have to find it in the Amgen system. This will be next week's battle. Truly after this three hour call I was ready to blow. But it did not end there. My parents wanted to go out and eat something, yet I technically couldn't leave because I had to wait for the HVAC repair person and the exterminator to deal with a wasp hive. My mom was making things so difficult that I literally rescheduled the HVAC appointment to tomorrow and I called the exterminator, gave details about where the hives were and then took my parents out.
Does my mom appreciate all I am balancing? NOT one bit. Instead, she was lamenting. Her laments can be hurtful.... such as she wishes she did not live here, she wishes she did not have a daughter, and she lived too long. If this was a one time occurrence, this venom would be bad enough, but it is a weekly and sometimes daily nightmare. But today, I couldn't put it into context. Today I couldn't walk away and regroup. Mainly because we were in the process of getting out the door and to the car. Literally I lost it on the driveway. I was screaming my head off! My life is in shambles, everything is crashing down around me, and my mom pours gasoline on my fire. I gave it to her today and the irony is she has no idea how her comments are received. I think she got the 411 today after my tirade.
Three things I am grateful for:
- Ritchie, the landscaper, said I am doing an excellent job keeping up the property. He can't get over how well I am weeding. It is a full time job at this house! But getting positive feedback on the job I am doing meant a lot.
- This evening, I spent two hours outside trimming bushes, weeding, and watering.
- Mattie Moon......
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