Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2005. Mattie was three years old. This whale of a pool was given to Mattie by Peter's mom. He enjoyed this pool so much on his trips to Boston, that she gave it to Mattie to use whenever he wanted. I can't tell you how many times we were out on this deck, playing, during all seasons of the year! Truly it isn't the size of the space that matters, it is the time and creativity you share together. Life with Mattie was filled with activity, learning, and exploration. He will forever be missed.
Quote of the day: The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever. ~ Carroll Bryant
This morning my dad's physical therapist came over for a session. Though I have to get up early in order to make these Saturday sessions happen, it is worth it, because it gives me the opportunity to interact with someone and to have a diversion from my usual nightmare. Weekends are very hard times for me because there is less structure and I have my dad full time along with my mom.
As summer is quickly approaching, it makes me remember many of my summer trips to the beach with Peter. When I reflect on these moments, it is almost like someone has stabbed me in the heart. I literally have physical pain just thinking that I will never have these moments again. In addition, I am working on a 15th anniversary video for the Foundation. Naturally in order to do this, it requires me to cull through many, many photos. When I look at them, I ask myself how did all of this happen in my life? How did I get to where I am now? I have no answers.
So overall, it has been a hard day emotionally, but of course I can't retreat. By mid-afternoon, my mom wants to go out. Given that the weather is beautiful, I decided to take them for frozen yogurt. When we got to the store, it was super crowded and there was no place to sit. Therefore, I did not even get my dad out of the car. Instead, I kept driving and took them to Dairy Queen.
I have been a big Dairy Queen for years. That too reminds me of all my beach trips with Peter. It used to be the highlight of my summer. Now it is simply bittersweet.
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