Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2008. Mattie was six years old. On the weekends it wasn't unusual for him and Peter to canoe on the Potomac River. Occasionally, like the time in this photo, I would come along. Don't you just love that big smile!? Mattie loved being on the water, exploring, checking out nature, and if you asked him, he would tell you he was saving up his money to buy a REAL boat. Which was why I nicknamed him, Captain Mattie.
Quote of the day: The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love. ~ Kristina McMorris
Amen to tonight's quote! It resonates with me. Life as I have known it for the last 35 years has ended. It has dissolved without my knowledge or permission. It is extremely disorienting and produces a range of emotions. Some days I can handle the isolation, the abandonment, and pain better than others.
This morning, I drove my parents to the city to go to the dentist. I have been going to this dentist since I was in my twenties. Though my dental practice is in the city and parking is a show, it is worth the trip. As soon as you enter the dental practice floor, there is a feeling of peace and everyone who works there is super professional.
Today, there was an issue with the hygienist scheduled to work with my dad. They switched the person normally assigned to work with us. I pitched a fit because to me not all hygienists are created equal. It has to be the right personality fit. My hygienist, Annie, was going to work with my dad today, and they wanted to assign my mom to a new person. I said no! It is important for my mom to connect with the same person. So I gave her Annie and my dad and I worked with Rachel. Turned out Rachel is extremely thorough and competent and she got stains off my dad's teeth, making his teeth whiter than I have seen them in years! So sometimes change is good. But overall, despite using an electric toothbrush on his teeth daily, I still have more work to do. His gums were bleeding and several of his teeth have "mobility." Literally remember when you had a loose tooth as a kid, well my dad has about three teeth like this! Naturally treating this problem in an aggressive fashion won't work for my dad. So we are taking a wait and see approach for now.
They now want me to WaterPik his teeth, in addition to using the electric toothbrush! This adds another task to my already full morning routine! But I will do it. The staff apologized for the hygienist snafu, and they presented me with Starbuck's gift cards. Certainly I wasn't expecting this, but I absolutely appreciated the thoughtfulness. My dad's hygienist could not get over that I have devoted the last three years to caring for my parents full time. If she only knew my full story, I am sure she would be shocked. After all there is just so much I can tell someone at once. Child loss, full time caregiving for parents, and abandonment by one's husband. It is a heavy burden to carry.
Three things I am grateful for:
- My dental practice and their kindness and professionalism.
- Frozen yogurt! After their dental visits, I took my parents for frozen yogurt. Something we all love.
- Imodium! I find that I now have to integrate this into my dad's weekly schedule. This morning, he had a major bathroom accident right after he ate breakfast (mind you I give him apples and bananas every morning to try to prevent these accidents.... it doesn't help). Thank goodness I wasn't driving to the city when this happened. Because I couldn't take a chance that this could happen again in the car or sitting in the dental chair, I elected to give him Imodium.
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