Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2003. Mattie was a year old and that day we took him to the Reston Zoo. A place that I will always hold fondly. It was the perfect size zoo for a young child. There were wide open spaces, hands on activities, rides out to the fields to see more animals, and opportunities to touch and feed the goats. As you can see, Mattie LOVED the animals. He gravitated to them and had a curiosity to learn more.
Quote of the day: When you are standing in [a] forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope. ~ Elizabeth Gilbert
Though I appreciate the sentiments of tonight's quote, I find absolutely NO comfort in knowing that someone else once stood in my shoes, faced with the same issues, and is now in a stable and better place. This is not how my brain or heart operate. Which maybe why peer and support groups have never worked for me. First, when I am drowning, I don't want to hear someone else's issues. Maybe for two issues, first if I deem someone is in pain, my first instinct is to help them before myself and second, I find group settings create comparisons among people seeking support.
Today was a blur and not a good blur. Just when I think a day couldn't possibly get worse, it does. On top of what is going on with my marriage, my mom has been ill. Tonight while I was on a conference call, I could hear my mom coughing profusely. There was nothing I could do, as I was in the middle of the call, and my mom truly is incapable of figuring out how to help herself. As soon as I got off my call, I contacted her doctor and he prescribed antibiotics. So I dropped everything and at 6pm, I ran to CVS. Then of course had to come home and begin dinner and the evening routine. I have absolutely NOTHING positive to say today, much less find three things I am grateful for.
Tomorrow to add insult to injury, I am headed back to the hospital for my third MRI in two weeks. Mind you I just received the bill from the previous two MRIs today and even with insurance, I was NOT expecting this huge invoice! The hits just keep on happening for me.
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