Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2009. Mattie's child life specialist bought me a birthday cake, so that Mattie could give it to me. It was my last birthday with Mattie. Mattie is missed each and every day and if he were alive now, I can only imagine how he would feel about what is going on in my life. Mattie was a fierce protector of me, even as a child, so who knows what he would be like now at age 22?
Quote of the day: If love is like driving a car, then I must be the worst driver in the world. I missed all the signs and ended up lost. ~ Brian MacLearn
I took my mom for her six month doctor follow up. While at the appointment, I mentioned to the doctor issues I am noticing in my dad. My dad is very fatigued, which isn't noteworthy per se, but he also has labored breathing, even while at rest. I am noticing a bulge in his side, by his rib cage, and I assumed it was a hernia. The doctor is saying, no! Any case, he wants to see my dad and do blood work and scans. NOT what I wanted to hear. Doing any of these things with my dad is cumbersome and stressful.
After this appointment, I went to the Mattie Miracle mailbox. Our box was filled with all sorts of things, but one item was a happy birthday card from my former neighbors in Washington, DC. This family and I knew each other for over twenty years, and I am very fond of them. I am deeply touched that they remembered me, and want to connect. It is hard to believe I only left the city three years ago, and yet so much devastation has happened in such a short period of time.
Tomorrow I am meeting up with friends to celebrate my birthday. I haven't left my parents alone since they moved in, and in order to make this happen, I am preparing all sorts of things in order for them to manage while I am gone. It is hard to describe, but any change in routine for me is very difficult, and socializing is equally difficult. I am not myself and when I feel this way, I prefer to retreat from the world.
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