Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2003. Mattie was a year old and it was his first trip to the Outer Banks. Given the heat, we were all inside for a bit and Mattie pulled out his favorite book and was looking at it on the couch. It was Goodnight Moon. Here's the thing about this classic. It was given to me by one of my mentors at the George Washington University. When I gave birth to Mattie, he gave me many things for Mattie and then many gifts to me over the years before he died. Mattie loved the book and the illustrations. We read it so so often, that Peter and I could recite it from memory....... "in the great green room there was a telephone and red balloon."
Quote of the day: If you start to miss me, remember: I didn’t walk away, you let me go. ~ Unknown
I am so grateful to have Cheryl's support and the support of those close to me and also from my readers, many whom I have never met in person. Each message, gift, and word of kindness can make a dark day more bearable.
Today I hit a whole new low today and part of me can't understand how Peter has no interest to talk with me. No interest to explain what is going on, and most of all I am perplexed, after 36 years together, I am not even missed by him. As if my presence in his life meant nothing. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
Between yesterday and today, I have had a lovely email conversation with a former student of mine. I am very proud of Ariel, as she became a nurse and now a nurse practitioner. She knew Mattie and has been part of my journey since Mattie was diagnosed. So that is 16 years of staying connected. To me that is noteworthy, because in today's day and age, it is very easy to lose touch, and for people to go separate ways. This tells you a lot about Ariel's character and commitment to people in her life. NO WONDER SHE BECAME A NURSE!
Today was a dark day and I wrote to Ariel that as her former teacher, it should be me reaching out to her and supporting her. Yet for years now, she has been so kind to me. Here is how she responded to my reflection..................
Not only did I learn from you when you taught me at GW, but I have learned SO much over the years by reading your blog throughout Mattie's journey, much of which I have used in my career both as a nurse for 10 years and now as a nurse practitioner. I continue to learn very difficult, but important lessons from you daily. I want you to know that no matter what I will be here to support you and cheer you on in any way I can!
I posted Ariel's comment here because I plan to re-read it many times. Truthfully on some days, it is the beautiful messages I receive that get me through the day.
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