Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2007. Mattie was five years old and that day we took him to Glen Echo Park in Maryland. We saw a puppet show, which Mattie absolutely LOVED, and then we went for a ride on the Dentzel carousel. Look at that smile. With Mattie there were always adventures and even the mundane was special with Mattie. He just had an infectious energy and you just couldn't help but get sucked up into his antics. He is missed today and always.
Quote of the day: Love isn’t there to make us happy. I believe it exists to show us how much we can endure. ~ Hermann Hesse
My last colonoscopy was five years ago, on Halloween no less. Peter of course took me, stayed with me, and then we went out to lunch after the procedure. Of course the procedure is easy, it is the prep that is sickening. Needless to say, my Zofran is out and ready for tomorrow, because the taste of that fluid can easily trigger a migraine and nausea. Of course the big different between this year and five years ago, is my intense caregiving schedule and getting divorced. These are huge stressors, which do not bode well with the environment one needs to prep. But like everything else, I have no choice, and will endure, because like every other day in my existence, I do it ALONE.
My dad's physical therapist came over today. I really like Cassidy, she gets my dad up and moving, and has great energy. I was focused on completing two Foundation tasks today..... 1. finalizing our fundraising application for Virginia (something we have to file annually as a non-profit) and 2. create our Foundation Holiday letter, so that I can get it to the printing company next week.
In order to get ready to assemble our mass mailing in December, I find it is a big undertaking. I ordered envelopes, had Mattie Miracle post-it notes made, went to the post office to buy 400 stamps, and got postal bins in order to organize the letters once they are stuffed, sealed, and stamped. This may not sound like a lot, but there are many moving pieces, and this was something I always did with Peter. Everything is easier with a partner. In 2023, it was the first year I managed the mailing alone. You would think it would be easier this year, it is NOT! I think in 2023, I thought Peter would return to the house and that his leaving was temporary. It was a hard year of realizing this was simply magical thinking on my behalf, and that our marriage meant something to both of us.
Now I have to turn to our supporter database. Each December I evaluate it and update mailing labels. The mailing label part is not something I love to do, as it involves a computer. But last year, Peter did not help me, so I had to turn to Google, watch you tube videos, and figured out how to convert an excel spreadsheet into mailing labels. I can hear my therapist in my head.... "look how much you have grown and accomplished alone." I can also hear my response to her in my head.... "BIG DEAL!"
Tomorrow in between dealing with colonoscopy prep, my goal is to work on the Foundation's October newsletter. My list of things I am trying to do this month just keep adding up. Nothing I can do about it, other than take it one task and nightmare at a time.
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