Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2005. Mattie was three years old. That day we took him to Tower Oaks, a restaurant in Rockville, MD. Outside the restaurant is greenery and a small pond. Mattie absolutely loved this space, which was why I chose to take this photo there to feature on the front of our Christmas card. I will never forget that smile.
Quote of the day: There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
My life is laborious and managing non-stop crises from moment to moment. Having others visit instills another perspective, a breath of fresh air, and a diversion. It added excitement to our day, but once everyone was gone, it felt like I returned to my usual caregiving vacuum. I actually do not like holidays, because there is a level of quiet that comes over the neighborhood and our roads. It just seems to heighten my isolation.
Ann took the selfie of all of us together. Pictured are:
This afternoon, after taking my parents out for frozen yogurt, I came home and visited my neighbor, who is recovering from a fall. When she saw me, she said..... YOU LOST MORE WEIGHT? As she is worried about me. We chatted for a while, I helped her with a few things and then headed home to cook dinner and also thoroughly clean my Christmas turkey.
While eating dinner tonight, I noticed my dad did not eat his dinner. When I asked him why he wasn't eating, he said he was full! I am not sure how that was possible since he did not eat much today! There are many things I despise about Alzheimer's disease, but one of the main things that is hard to take is it makes the person very narrowly focused. Not unlike a child, the only focus and concern is for one's self! My dad has no appreciation for what I balance, he has no comprehension of my divorce and the circumstances behind it, and he has absolutely no concept for the financial gymnastics I play each month. Most days I can handle this and put it into context, but then a day like today, I just can't! Especially when he asks me to do ten things at one time. My joke is that my dad apparently thinks I am an octopus, who has multiple arms to manage each demand he throws out at me.
Ann, holding her phone, then
JP, me, and my friend Tanja, and behind us were Ann's Aunt Helen and my mom!
I love Empire turkeys, and this fellow got a good bath, remaining feathers plucked and now it is marinading in the refrigerator with orange marmalade, lemon zest, lemon juice and herbs!
While eating dinner tonight, I noticed my dad did not eat his dinner. When I asked him why he wasn't eating, he said he was full! I am not sure how that was possible since he did not eat much today! There are many things I despise about Alzheimer's disease, but one of the main things that is hard to take is it makes the person very narrowly focused. Not unlike a child, the only focus and concern is for one's self! My dad has no appreciation for what I balance, he has no comprehension of my divorce and the circumstances behind it, and he has absolutely no concept for the financial gymnastics I play each month. Most days I can handle this and put it into context, but then a day like today, I just can't! Especially when he asks me to do ten things at one time. My joke is that my dad apparently thinks I am an octopus, who has multiple arms to manage each demand he throws out at me.
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