Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Tuesday, October 17, 2023 -- Mattie died 733 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2003. Mattie was a year and a half old. Technically that was Mattie's second Halloween, because in 2002, he was just a baby and couldn't comprehend the holiday. I did not dress Mattie up in 2002, but in 2003, we went to Target together and picked out this cute pumpkin sweat suit. Since Mattie gravitated to the color orange and loved the softness of sweat suit material, I knew this would be a hit. He will always be the cutest pumpkin to me!

Quote of the day: Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference. ~ Virginia Satir

After I did some work this morning, I took my parents out to lunch. Typically we go to the same three restaurants. But today, we decided to go to the California Pizza Kitchen, which is close to our home. When my parents lived in Los Angeles, they would dine at their local CPK weekly. Both of my parents were hesitant to try a new restaurant here as they were worried about parking and access to the bathrooms. Their anxiety feeds on my own, but I figured it was early in the week, a cold day, and I decided to dine with them after the lunch rush. Even while driving to the restaurant, my mom suggested we not go! But I ventured there anyway, and secured a parking space right in front of the restaurant. As soon as we entered the restaurant, I scoped out the restrooms, because with my dad's irritable bowel syndrome, emergencies can arise at any time. 

Turns out my dad ate very well and my mom had a great time. Of course, no matter where I go and no matter what my dad eats, he has to run to the bathroom. Fortunately, unlike with my mom, my dad's bathroom issues don't make me edgy. I am not anxious about helping him, but I have to admit at times, I get frustrated because I can never eat a meal in peace. At the end of the day, I am happy that I introduced them to another restaurant and moved passed the small comfort zone. 

Over lunch we started talking about my parent's life in Los Angeles. Afterall, they lived there since 1984, and only moved in with me in December of 2021. So for my dad, LA should be memorable. Unfortunately it is not. He remembers very little about life there, his work, the places they visited, or any of their houses. It is a very sad commentary, given the fact that he used to be a force. Alzheimer's is a debilitating disease, but I would say the profound impact is more for the caregiver than the patient. 

When I got home and settled my parents, Sunny was begging to go out for a walk. So I put my jacket back on and out we went. I walked Sunny further than he has been walking in a long time. He managed, and we took it slowly. But Sunny's cancer has really done a number on him and there are days like today when I struggle to get him to eat ANYTHING. 

Look at this beautiful maple tree we passed along our Walk! It is the perfect symbol of Fall.  

It is rare, but today I retreated to my bedroom for a few minutes, to sit down and regroup. Look who joined me!!! Miss Indie. We rescued Sunny and Indie in 2016, and it was one of the best decisions I made since Mattie died. They are constant and loving companions.