Friday, October 20, 2023Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2003. Mattie was a year and half old. I know exactly why I snapped that picture! I was playing a Baby Einstein video for Mattie, but look at what he was doing instead! Mattie spent very little time glued to the TV. He was a busy little fellow. As you can see, he was pulling out his videos from under the TV and was looking at each of them. He loved to stack them, sort them, and put them back in the cabinet. Mind you, you would think that Mattie would had no idea what was happening on the TV, if he was stacking videos. However, I quickly learned that he could absorb what was on the TV screen and also do other tasks. He was my little multi-tasker!
Quote of the day: The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living. ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
It was another long day on the farm, juggling issues with the house, Sunny who won't eat, and of course my parents. Later in the afternoon, I took my parents out for an early dinner. While eating, music was playing. This particular Clyde's plays a lot of 70 and 80s music. Which is just fine with me, since this is my favorite music anyway! Needless to say, two songs by Barry Manilow came on. Those of you who do not know, I have always been a Manilow fan. To me there is nothing like music. It has a way of revoking memories and taking you right back in time.
When I was in 6th grade, I distinctly remember singing a Manilow song in front of my class. Not for the fun of it, it was for an assignment. So I chose..... I can't smile without you. Years later, once I met Peter, I introduced him to many of these songs. Peter was a good sport, and came to love the music too. In fact, over the years, Peter and I went on countless car trips together. Not just an hour trip, but we are talking about sometimes 12 hour car trips because of traffic. On many of these car rides, Barry Manilow came along with us, sometimes we were even singing along (as Peter and I officially met in our college choir, we loved to sing).
Now life looks quite different. I feel like the music has gone out of my life, or perhaps when I hear these same songs, they mean something different to me. Though I never felt this way when listening to these songs in the past, now when I do, they seem to highlight regret, missed opportunities, and feeling lonely and isolated. To me it is ironic the power of music, because music hones in on how I am feeling, and it is hard when struggling with things not to hear and see things through my own lens of pain.
But here's the thing, ultimately hearing these songs at the restaurant today brought a smile to my face. Because despite the lyrics, the music itself transported me back in time, to our car trips together, when life seemed simpler and more hopeful.
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