Tonight's picture was taken in February of 2003. Mattie was invited to a birthday party. Believe it or not, I brought some of Mattie's favorite toys with us because transitioning to new spaces was challenging at times. So I brought his school bus and the stackable shapes you see in front to the other little boy. Mattie was 10 months old, taking everything in, and guess who got his piece of the birthday cake? ME! In this manner, Mattie and I were diametric opposites. I love sugar and Mattie hated it!
Quote of the day: Some people's lives seem to flow in a narrative; mine had many stops and starts. That's what trauma does. It interrupts the plot. You can't process it because it doesn't fit with what came before or what comes afterwards. ~ Jessica Stern
When I dropped my dad off at his memory care center this morning, one of the staff greeted me at the door. She said good morning to me and my dad, and then once my dad was inside, she told me how lovely I looked. She particularly commented.... you do such a lovely and light job with your make up. I have to say I wasn't expecting to hear any of this, as my day typically is about one task after the other. For the most part, in so many ways I could be invisible. This morning's comment made me feel like I exist, someone notices me, and since my dad's memory care center understands the inordinate pressures and stress I live with, I really appreciated the kindness. It brought a smile to my face.
Somehow her comment made me go back to when I was a pre-teen. Why? Because that was when I learned about the art of makeup. When I was around 12 years old, Saks Fifth Avenue accepted me into their make up and modeling course for young girls. This class met weekly and in the class we learned about how to use and apply make up and how to model clothes. After this course was complete, there was literally a fashion show at the store where we were observed by the public. I am not sure why this popped in my head, but that is how memories are, they can get triggered by all sorts of things. To this day, I remember one of the beautiful dresses I got to model on the runway! It was a lavender taffeta dress. With ruffles. I mention the ruffles, because from that day forward, I LOVED ruffles. To me they are just so elegant. In many ways, my life in New York was a happy period. However, at age 14, my dad's job relocated us to California. If I had to account for a time where the trajectory of my life changed, it was in that moment.
Switching gears, this story showed up on my phone today......
Golden Retriever Reenacts Iconic ‘Dirty Dancing’ Moment with Favorite Stuffy in Adorable MomentIt features this cute golden retriever who is enamored with his Lamb Chop stuffed animal. It is his favorite toy. You have to see the video in the link, because this pup has a staring contest with this lamb chop doll. The article goes on to talk about how dogs can bond with one or two toys and can become protective over it.
Sunny had a toy box. In the box were all sorts of toys that were either gifts or we gave him. But there was one toy that meant a lot to him.
Did Sunny have a staring contest with a toy? NO! But like the Golden Retriever is looking at his sweet Lamb Chop, my Sunny, would stare into my eyes for minutes! Truly when Sunny first did this to me, you want to know what I thought? I thought Mattie was channeling himself through Sunny. This was a tell tale trait of Mattie's, we would touch noses and Mattie would stare deeply into my eyes. When Sunny did the same thing with me, I PAUSED! Can the spirit of a loved one be transposed into an animal? I don't know! Do any of us know?? What I do know however, was the eerie similarity between the stares!
No comments:
Post a Comment