Quote of the day: "A gift is pure when it is given from the heart to the right person at the right time and at the right place, and when we expect nothing in return." ~ Bhagavad Gita
Peter and I had to adjust to our freedom on Saturday night. It did not come easy to us. Peter and I reflected over dinner at the hotel that this was the first night and day that we have been away from Mattie since he was diagnosed with cancer on July 23, 2008. Throughout this year one of us has always been with Mattie. I know that Ann understood our insecurities, and she text messaged us back and forth throughout the night and even sent us pictures of what Mattie and her children were doing together. Clearly Mattie had a ball, and it is wonderful to see him have a chance to play freely with his friends, be happy, and just be Mattie. Mattie the seven year old, not Mattie the boy with cancer. Also being without Peter and I, it left him to be more independent to some extent and to tell Ann when he needed things. I think Mattie has always liked Ann, but after this weekend experience, it is clear she holds a special place in his heart. As she does for Peter and I. The irony is today Ann sent me an e-mail thanking me for sharing Mattie with her family on Saturday. That was actually very touching to hear, because I am well aware of Mattie's needs for constant activity, periodic wake ups at night, and other demands that Ann is able to put into context. As I tell Ann all the time, she is my angel of HOPE, and giving us this time away this weekend was a gift beyond imagination.
I would like to share several of the wonderful photos Ann took for us of Mattie's first sleepover. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. These glimpses of normalcy are things that we wish could be etched in our minds in the following weeks to come.
Left: Mattie and Abigail in Michael's (Abigail's brother) room playing with a hot wheels track. One of Mattie's favorite activities!
Right: Mattie and Abigail planting a "fairy" garden. Mattie used to love gardening, and he would help me plant flowers every year. This year when I asked him if he wanted to do this activity with me, he said, "no, that is boring." I know he doesn't find it boring, but more like he doesn't feel like he is capable of helping like he used to.
Left: On Saturday night, Mattie's good buddy, Zachary, came over to Ann's house and played with Mattie for a while. It is so nice that Mattie and Zachary were able to reconnect in this way, because they have a special friendship that transcends Mattie's disability. In the picture is Katharina (Tanja's daughter, who is becoming a friend of Mattie's), Mattie, and Zachary in Abigail's room.
Right: Mattie, Abigail, Zachary, and Katharina getting their hands wet and having fun with a water activity. Another favorite pass time of Mattie's!
Left: Mattie and Michael (Ann's son) playing with a bowl full of plastic fruits and vegetables and lots of water!
Right: Mattie checking out the fruits and vegetables! I LOVE the look of joy on his face!
Left: Well if you can't stir this stew with your hands, why not use your feet? LOTS of feet.
Right: Bedtime stories with Abigail!
Left: Abigail and Mattie sitting outside, getting some fresh air (yeah!), and collecting ANTS. That's right! You read this correctly! Mattie received an ant farm kit yesterday from Michael (Ann's son), and he is VERY excited to set it up. Mattie has always wanted an ant farm. Apparently crawling things are in my future.
Right: Mattie and Abigail performed a puppet show together, in which he played a dinosaur that attacked the animals Abigail was playing.
Left: The puppet show in progress.Right: Mattie, Abigail, Katharina, and Tanja (Katharina's mom) playing with a farm house. To me this looks like a doll house, but Mattie corrected me several times and said it was a FARM house.
Left: Mattie, Abigail, and Ann playing on the farm!
Right: Mattie tells me the kids did not want their picture taken, and they all put their heads down.
While Mattie was having a great time at Ann's house, Peter and I had brunch at the hotel together, and then decided to head home and unpack Mattie's gifts and our things, so that when we brought Mattie home we wouldn't have to do this. At first I was unhappy we did this, because coming home to me means WORK. In fact, my home is a glorified hospital to me, and in a way a place I feel very trapped in. So I rather have sat outside by the hotel pool, but after we brought Mattie home this evening, I knew Peter made the right decision. Mattie came home and needed both of our attention, and unpacking would have been virtually impossible.
Peter and I went for a walk today, and along our walk we saw a black water snake (apparently I can't get away from creepy crawlers this weekend!) and a Great Blue Heron. Both of which you can see below in the pictures!
When we arrived at Ann's house to pick up Mattie, I wasn't sure if he would be ready to go since I knew he was having a great time. But he understood that all great things do eventually come to an end. We talked about his sleepover in the car trip home and the fun he had with his friends. When he got home though, he was edgy and all the same pains, which we did not hear about all day yesterday, came back. Perhaps Mattie feels the same way about home as I do. Not sure, but after taking Morphine, he calmed down, and he and Peter have been busy working on a Lego together. As we head into Monday, we have a full afternoon at the hospital. Mattie has to take a hearing test and then a pulmonary function test (PFT). Mattie has never done a PFT before, so this always can provide extra stress to an already stressful situation. None the less, in our FREE week, we will be going to the hospital on Monday, Tuesday (for an all day MTP experience), Thursday (for a two hour PET scan which requires that Mattie get sedated), and on Friday (for an echocardiogram). You really have to wonder why some families are put through such life altering experiences? I have no answers, and I know people tell me that God has a plan. But I wish our plan were different.
We want to thank the Peterson family for a wonderful homecooked meal. Thanks Karen for the chicken pie and the wonderful chocolate cake. We also love your butter crunch that you made. Thanks for sharing this treat with us.
I end tonight's posting with a message from my friend, Charlie. Charlie wrote, "What a wonderful day for Mattie on Saturday. I am so glad the weather cooperated too. The pictures were wonderful and the cake looked delicious even if it was in the shape of a roach. I know it is hard to watch Mattie and compare him to the other children at this point in his life; that's normal. However, remember that Mattie would not be around to have this wonderful party that he so clearly enjoyed had you not made the decision to go forward with treatment that you did last summer. The spirit and enjoyment of life that will carry Mattie forward is clearly still there. The party was definitely enjoyed by all the children (and adults) and was a wonderful gift to both you and Mattie. I hope that your evening with Peter is as nice and that Mattie's first sleepover goes well too."
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