Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2004. Mattie was a year and half old and as you can see.... he was all business. He absolutely LOVED packing boxes and in so many ways I think he had more fun with them than playing with actual toys!
In memory of Sunny Brown, who died today at 12:30pm, I post the Beautiful "Rainbow Bridge Poem."
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
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I stayed up until 2am with Sunny last night. He was miserable, couldn't get comfortable, was agitated, and only my presence and head rubs seemed to calm him down. I quarantined Sunny in the kitchen because I couldn't keep up with his vomiting and pooping. I did about seven loads of laundry yesterday, in my desperate attempt to keep him clean and not sitting in a mess.
Again, this was the hardest decision I had to make, as saying good-bye to Sunny was torture. I cried my head off all day, and I rarely cry. I have to be completely overwhelmed to let go like this, but frankly at this point, I am in such a low place, emotionally that my will to live is questionable. I live to care for my parents, otherwise, right now I see no purpose.
We don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have!
This evening, I started cleaning out some of Sunny's medicines and canned foods. All of which I will donate to the Hope Center. To me these things do not define Sunny and therefore removing them is not emotionally laden.
Sunny's tags and collar are now on display in my office and we paid for Sunny to be cremated. His urn will come in the mail and we had to make a split second decision what we wanted written on the plaque. What I finally came up with was "Forever Our Sunman!" Sunny provided sunshine, joy, and happiness to my life. I can't imagine moving forward without his presence in my life. When I tell you I feel heart broken and devastated, I am being quite serious. I feel my heart literally aching over his death. In addition to my grief, Indie (the cat) is hysterical. She is clingy with me all day! Which is unlike Indie. But what I do know is animals are perceptive and she too is experiencing the loss of our Sunman. There is a gapping hole in my heart and our home seems incredibly empty already.
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