Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2007. Mattie was five years old and in typical Mattie style was fully on! He grabbed his pretend microphone and was going back and forth between singing and making announcements. One thing was for sure with Mattie.... life with him was NEVER boring.
Quote of the day: I'd marry again if I found a man who had $15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead in a year. ~ Bette Davis
Tonight I feel strung out. For a whole host of reasons. Trying to figure out my health insurance, trying to figure out how to title cars in my name, juggling my parents, and knowing that I have a two hour presentation tomorrow morning to one of our big sponsors and their members, is daunting.
I have rearranged my dad's schedule this week at his memory care center, because there is no way I can manage his shower and morning routine, and hop onto a virtual conference call at 8am. I have tried to prep my parents for tomorrow morning. Mainly because I don't want my dad up and out of bed until I am finished with my call. Which won't be a problem for him, as he would sleep the day away if I wasn't on his case. But my mom has no regard for my needs, and if left unchecked would turn on the TV, do her morning walk routine, right through my office, and the list goes on. I have repeatedly told her that my virtual conference will end at 10am. Most mornings, she isn't even downstairs before 10:30 or 11am.
My point about this is I live under constant stress. Balancing everyone's needs and problems. Trying to appear together, professional, and intact tomorrow morning is a feat. I may not be doing justice to my level of angst, but it is palpable.
Of course what isn't far from my mind is Peter. I will be doing a Mattie Miracle presentation tomorrow without my other half. For 15 years, we have navigated all these presentations together, and it pains me now that I carry on Mattie's memory alone. In addition, I am sharing the virtual stage with two other non-profits tomorrow. I am quite sure these other two leaders are not dealing with the drama, trauma, and chaos that I have been enduring for over a year. Yet I have to put that turmoil on a shelf and do my best job to introduce the audience to the great work and achievements of Mattie Miracle.
All I can say is please think good thoughts for me on Wednesday from 8-10am. May I find my Mattie Miracle voice and channel my inner Mattie!
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