Friday, January 9, 2026

Friday, January 9, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2006. Mattie was three and half years old. That afternoon he brought home all the creations you see on the coffee table. He worked on them in preschool! Mattie was very prolific both at school and in the hospital. I tried hard to save many of his things. 

When we moved from our apartment into the house in 2021, I took many of Mattie's creations and made collages or placed items into shadow boxes. All of which are on display in my office. Can you see many of the items on the coffee table above, now framed on my wall? How did I know to save these things? After all, I had no idea Mattie was going to get cancer and die! Perhaps it is my sentimental nature, my attachment to people and things, or the simple notion that I knew these items marked developmental milestones for Mattie. What I do know is it NEVER crossed my mind back then that these items would become legacy pieces! It never dawned on me that Mattie would die before me.

Quote of the day: Anyway, it doesn't matter how much, how often, or how closely you keep an eye on things because you can't control it. Sometimes things and people just go. Just like that. ~ Cecelia Ahern

My dad's nurse came over this morning to assess the pressure sore on his back. This is another thing I am maintaining and managing daily! My dad has a sore that seems to heal and then weeks later it opens right back up! It is very frustrating for me. Fortunately for my dad, he can't see or feel it. Which is a blessing, because when my dad is aware of a skin issue, he scratches. His scratching is so intense that he typically causes infections. 

Once the nurse's visit was done, I drove my dad to his memory care center. Before going to the center, I reviewed with my dad some of the special activities they were doing today at the center! At 3:30pm, they were scheduled to have an ice cream social. So I specifically made a point to pick up my dad up at 4pm, so he could enjoy the social. When I picked him up at 4pm, my dad not only had NO recall of anything he did all day, but he had NO recollection of the ice cream social. I have told the staff that their calendar of activities is NO HELP to me or my dad, what I need is photo documentation. This is the only way I can have a meaningful dialogue with my dad, as I can use the photos to trigger memories of the day. This lack of recall puts my dad in a very vulnerable position! Which is why when he is in the hospital, I am always on guard because he is not aware of what's happening to him and certainly can't advocate for himself. 

While my dad was at the memory care center, I decided to keep this morning open in case I had to retrieve my mom's car, which has been getting serviced since Wednesday. I got all chores done yesterday like grocery shopping and picking up scripts at the pharmacy. But it turns out my mom's car won't be ready until next week. So that freed my morning up slightly. I spent two concentrated hours doing Foundation administrative work. Specifically putting together, printing out, and writing donation acknowledgment letters. Each December, Mattie Miracle runs its annual drive, which helps us raise additional funds for the operation of our programs. Within the past two weeks, I have processed over 70 letters. These 70 donors are steadfast supporters, and it is thanks to them, we have a Foundation 16 years later! When I tell them that they make the Mattie Miracles possible, I am NOT kidding. 

Given the amount of work I did today, along with caregiving, by mid-day, I started to develop a terrible migraine and felt nauseous. I knew at that point, I had to remove myself from the computer and my desk, change my scenery and take a migraine rescue medication. 

This was a photo of Sunny and me at Great Falls in Virginia. One of the parks Sunny absolutely LOVED. Tomorrow, January 10, marks the second anniversary of Sunny's death. I can't believe my boy has been gone for two years! He may not be physically with me, but whenever I see a dog walking with its owner, I THINK of Sunny. WHICH IS DAILY! Sunny's dog bed is still in our family room. Indie now uses it, but I can't forget the happiness and joy this special fellow brought to my life. He may have been a rescue, but he is the one who rescued me.