Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2009. Mattie's grandmother sent him this foam puzzle of the world map. Mattie had a wonderful time assembling it and then decided to lie on top of it. I literally snapped this photo and labelled it..... "Mattie sits on top of the world!" I will never forget that moment in time.
Quote of the day: Poets use countless words to describe their pain, but I only need three: I miss you. ~ Caroline George
Though today may have been a national holiday, it was business as usual for me. I got up at 6:15am, because my mom had a physical therapy session this morning. Truly if someone would have told me four years ago that I would be a morning person and that I was going to get divorced, I would have laughed. Yet here I am. The one thing I love about holidays is..... there is NO MAIL! If you have been following along on this blog, then you know going to the mailbox stresses me out. I get stressed out with surprise bills and other communications!
I took my parents out mid-day for frozen yogurt. It may be cold out, but this is a good outing for my parents. Keep in mind that have battery powered heated jackets and I have blankets for each of them even when they are inside the store. So truly the cold is tolerable for them. Unfortunately as my dad continues to decline, he is fully incontinent, and I am literally changing him every two hours. He is no longer aware of his is bodily functions and given that his skin easily breaks down, it is a constant battle that I face daily.
In the middle of juggling things today, I committed to push myself to work on continuing education courses to renew my mental health license in December of 2026. By December, I will need 40 hours of continuing education. Hopefully by the end of this week, I will be at 20 hours! Naturally given all that I am facing, it would be understandable if I let my license lapse. But I remind myself I worked TOO hard to obtain the license and I will never know in the future if I need a license to work or be more marketable. Rather ironic at my age that I have to worry about my financial future and security, as I never focused on this while I was married. Given that big mistake, and trusting that someone else was looking out for my best interest, I now tell any young woman that I have the opportunity to talk with that they MUST open a bank account solely in their name and only they should have access to it. At the end of the day, the only person who is going to look out for your best interest, is yourself. I assure you this philosophy is counterintuitive to me because I always valued the trust and sanctity of marriage.
We are the product of our experiences, losses and traumas, and if I can help other women avoid the situation that I face now, I do it. At the end of the day, no matter what has happened in my life, I thrive on caring and looking out for others. That quality can not be destroyed regardless of what life has thrown at me. It is a core value, that guides how I live my life, and I am proud of this fact!
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