Wednesday, February 11, 2026

Wednesday, February 11, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2004. Mattie was almost two years old. That day we took him to the Children's Museum in Washington, DC. It was our first and last trip to that Museum. That said, we made the best out of the trip, as there were many hands on activities that Mattie loved.... a big sand box, and vehicles for him to climb up and into, such as a fire truck, and even a motorcycle. Life with Mattie was never boring and seeing the world through his eyes made life worth living. 

Quote of the day: Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime. ~ Mineko Iwasaki

This morning, after getting my dad off to his memory care center, and I situated my mom in the kitchen to have her breakfast, I hopped on a weekly conference call. I have the good fortune to be mentoring Mattie's best preschool buddy, Zachary, on his non-profit college project. Zachary and I are working on story boards for the Foundation, but after chatting about this we then talked about the Foundation and how psychosocial care and support became the focal point of Mattie Miracle's mission. Actually Zachary asked very poignant questions and honestly as I responded to his questions, all I could say to myself was.... WOW...... in 17 years, we have accomplished a lot! A lot on a shoe string budget! 

One of the questions Zachary asked me was whether I had non-profit experience prior to starting Mattie Miracle?! Here's the funny part to all of this..... it is sometimes hard for me to think about my life prior to Mattie's cancer diagnosis and death. Why? I think because it is almost like there is a pre-cancer Vicki and a post-cancer Vicki. The pre-cancer Vicki seems like a completely different person! I had such high hopes for Mattie, I had big plans for my life, career, and our family! These plans came to a crashing halt on cancer diagnosis day. So when Zachary asked me this question, I literally had to pause! I had to think..... what was my life like, and what did my professional experiences entail? 

Short answer is YES I had a ton of non-profit experience before Mattie got cancer. Did you know that I was the:

• President and then Executive Director of the DC Mental Health Counselors Association
• President of the DC Counseling Association
• Advocacy Committee Chair of the American Counseling Association
• Awards Committee Chair of the American Mental Health Counselors Association
• President of the American Mental Health Counselors Association (a professional organization of over 6,000 members)

There are many commonalities in non-profit board work, no matter how big or small the non-profit. Since board work is typically unpaid, you will find across the board that the work is typically performed by one or two dedicated people. This isn't a commentary on the cause, it isn't a commentary on the people, it is just a natural commentary on human nature! Knowing this prepared me well for Mattie Miracle, after all I know that NO ONE is going to be as passionate about the Foundation as Mattie's own mom!!!!

But when I listed our accomplishments to Zachary, it left both of us amazed. Naturally for Zachary, I explained them in more detail, but here's the summary (and there is much more that I am not listing)....

1. We have funded a child life professional since 2011. In fact, we have funded 7 different positions. This person assists 1,500 children with cancer a year. To date, we have contributed over $400,000 to this child life fund. 
2. We run five Snack and Item Carts. These Carts offer free snacks, drinks, and toiletries to families caring for children with cancer. Our Carts serve 2,500 families a year.
3. We offer M&M Wishes to children with cancer. Wishes provide funding for an item, activity or family trip. To date, we have funded over $71,000 worth of Wishes to children in 24 States. 
4. We award therapy support grants to children with cancer, so they can access mental health services in the community. To date we have awarded over $22,000 in therapy support to children in 13 States.
5. We had the vision to create national Psychosocial Standards of Care, because unlike medical care, there was no standard for emotional and social support in hospitals for children with cancer. It was very hospital dependent.... some provide more support than others, mainly because of private philanthropy. We assembled top psychosocial leaders in the field and after three years, paid for the publication of evidence based Standards in a top tier medical journal. 
6. The Standards have been endorsed by 19 national professional organizations and are being implemented in treatment sites around the country. In many cases, we have helped to justify the hiring of more psychologists at hospitals, who need these professionals to help implement the Standards of care. So in essence we have changed the landscape of comprehensive cancer care. Prior to our advocacy work on Capitol Hill, NO ONE was taking about psychosocial care for children with cancer. We changed that!
7. To date, we have awarded over $200,000 in innovative research grants. Grants designed to implement the Standards of Care. Each of these grants have produced publishable research, in which Mattie Miracle was noted as the funder. In some cases, our grants helped researchers obtain pilot data in order to apply for larger NIH grants. Without our grants, such pilot data would not be obtainable!

Look what surprised me at my doorstep today! Cheesecake and chocolates! How can you not smile seeing these goodies. My friend Cheryl, who is connected to me through my former marriage, sent these treats to us. Though we have never physically met one another, she is one of the people who has been a constant source of support throughout my grief journey with Mattie and especially during the last two years of my divorce. On days I wanted to throw myself out of the window, Cheryl would say something that enabled me to pause and take a deep breath. There are no words for that kind of support. As I always say.... you learn about the strength, passion, and commitment of a person when you are in a crisis. 

This is my third Valentine's Day that is approaching in which I am alone. I wish I could say each year, it gets easier. It doesn't! Perhaps it would have been easier, if I was a different kind of person. A person who didn't love, trust, commit, and care deeply. All I can say is my life has been profoundly altered yet again, and just like there is a pre-cancer Vicki, a post-cancer Vicki, there is now a third Vicki..... a divorced and shattered Vicki.