Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. That was a special day at the hospital, as it was the ribbon cutting ceremony for the child life playroom. Before this playroom existed, there was no place to play or gather other than the hospital hallways. In fact, when Mattie started treatment at the hospital there was no playroom. I can't tell you what a gift it was when it opened. Which was why, Linda (Mattie's child life specialist) invited Mattie to cut the ribbon at the ceremony. Linda understood how important this space was for Mattie. If you want to know why Mattie Miracle funds child life, it is because of this amazing woman pictured next to Mattie. I called her my "medical Mary Poppins!" There is no way Mattie or I could have survived each day without her creativity, skills, advocacy, and compassion.
Quote of the day: He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear. ~ Gaius Julius Caesar
I think I finally fell asleep at 1am. I was absolutely strung out from dealing with multiple fraud alerts yesterday. I was telling my friend what I had to do yesterday to address these issues and her response to me was... wow! She said she had to re-read my message multiple times because she was unaware of some of the processes I was telling her about. What she reminded me is that I went from a person who knew close to nothing about managing household finances, dealing with budgets, paying bills, and maintaining a house, to someone who puts out figurative fires and crises every day.
I would like to say that I woke up more at peace today, but I did not! I think when you are scared out of your mind, and have experienced countless and unexpected nightmares over the course of the last two years, it has left me hyperalert. I am constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop. But when I don't know who has committed yesterday's fraud, it makes me even more anxious. What I do know is I have followed every step recommended to me.
This morning, my dad had a foot doctor appointment. Just to get him up, showered, and dressed was a feat. But I got him to his appointment and then brought him home to nap for two hours before lunch. I took my parents out to lunch today and I have to say it is a humbling experience as my mom is glued to her phone, surfing Facebook, and my dad is out of it. Though my mom functions better than my dad, she is needing more and more support. When we are out of the house, she doesn't want to walk independently and therefore holds my hand (she will not use a cane or walker). It makes it fun when I am juggling my dad as well, but it is amazing what you get used to. I also think that being connected to her cell phone keeps my mom oriented to time and day, because my mom also has a form of dementia. I do not report this often, but I am not just caring for one parent, I am indeed caring for two. On days like yesterday, when I felt so insecure and needed support, the reality is my parents can't help me. NOT AT ALL!
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