Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2006. Mattie was four years old! This was a typical weekend view! We would visit Roosevelt Island, which was minutes from our home. Mattie loved exploring the Island and we all enjoyed the boardwalk. It is a small piece of paradise, so close to the city, and yet filled with bird and wildlife traffic!
Quote of the day: Doctoring her seemed to her as absurd as putting together the pieces of a broken vase. Her heart was broken. Why would they try to cure her with pills and powders? ~ Leo Tolstoy
This morning, after dropping my dad off at his memory care center, I took my mom to the city for us to get haircuts and nails done. I take my mom to city about every six weeks. Prior to my divorce, I used to get my haircut, once a year! However, after my divorce I learned was this was not good for my hair, and that hair needs to be cut every three months. So now, I try to schedule this every three months. I am great at caring for my parents and not as good at looking after myself.
While at the salon, I had the opportunity to chat with the stylist. Her grandson is sick and though others chat with this stylist, they had no idea what she was facing. However, I got to hear her story and what her family is facing. Why do I think people share their problems with me? I think people feel more comfortable sharing health crises and concerns with me because I know all about sadness, I know all about crisis, and I certainly know all about medical trauma. There isn't much you can tell me that will shake me, and because of my journey with Mattie, I have a deep understanding for the range of emotions that result from a life altering diagnosis.
But the bottom line is the women in the salon view me as a strong woman. A woman who has survived child loss, a woman who is surviving the loss of her husband, and a woman who is managing the care of her parents. It is a ton of loss that travels with me daily. After the salon, I took my mom to Starbucks for tea before picking my dad up. When we walked into Starbucks, all the baristas and the manager told me how wonderful I looked. They knew right away that I got my hair cut, and seriously after all their comments, the rest of Starbucks knew too. It had me laughing!
When I got home, I went upstairs to my bedroom and recorded this two minute video. One of the researchers and clinicians I have worked closely with since 2011, is retiring. A link to upload videos was sent to me, and the request was that it had to be done this week. So I tried to compose myself and recorded this message! My hope is that Lori knows how much she has transformed my life and has helped to ensure Mattie's legacy through the Psychosocial Standards of Care.
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