A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



December 21, 2017

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2004. Mattie was two and a half years old and by that point understood more about Christmas. He also got the fact that when taking a photo he had to sit still. Smiling came the next year! This photo was featured on the cover of our 2004 Christmas card.



Quote of the day: He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~ Roy L. Smith



We visited Cozumel, Mexico today. There were 7 other large cruise ships in port, which means about 40,000 passengers in total transcended onto Cozumel. 

Cozumel, a mostly undeveloped Mexican island in the Caribbean Sea, is a popular cruise ship port of call famed for its scuba diving. Specifically around 35 cruise ships visit Cozumel, and we were told that tourism and tips fuel the economy. 

People visit Cozumel for its resorts, scuba diving, and snorkeling. 

The name Cozumel was derived from the Mayan "Cuzamil" or "Ah Cuzamil Peten" in full, which means the island of swallows (the birds). 







We visited the Mayan ruins of San Gervasio. Look who greeted us upon entrance into the ruins.... do you see the large iguana?










Iguana are prolific! I don't know if you can see this, but there are two lying in this tree. They perch on the branches. 

I did not mention this but in Belize (where we visited yesterday), we learned that they eat iguana and gibnuts. What is a gibnut? Try a rat!
Another view of the greeting iguana! He absolutely blended into the limestone!!!













San Gervasio's pre-Hispanic name was Tantun Cuzamil, Mayan for Flat Rock in the place of the Swallows. 





The ruins were once a hub of worship of the goddess Ix Chel (pictured here), an aged deity of childbirth, fertility, medicine, and weaving. Pre-Columbian Maya women would try to travel to San Gervasio and make offerings at least once in their lives. 

The goddess features many symbols in her illustration. There is a snake on her head which symbolizes water, her body the earth, and the vessel she is holding illustrates water trickling from the snake to the earth. So basically there is a connection between the earth and water, and the goddess was the necessary instrument to provide for the growth within the soil (which was also a form of fertility). 



In 1560, the Spanish historian, Diego Lopez de Cogolludo, wrote: "The pilgrims arrive at Cozumel for the fulfillment of their vows to offer their sacrifices, to ask help for their needs, and for the mistaken adoration of their false gods." The bishop of Yucatán, Diego de Landa, wrote in 1549 that the Maya "held Cozumel in the same veneration as we have for pilgrimages to Jerusalem and Rome, and so they used to go to visit and offer presents there, as we do to holy places; and if they did not go themselves, they always sent their offerings. The thatched roof was considered the temple were human sacrifices were made to the goddess.

If fact this flattened ruin is where they suspect humans were chained and organs removed while they were still alive, so that they could be offered in the temple to the goddess.

My mom and me at the ruins!















This arch is the main entrance from the north and west to San Gervasio’s  Central Plaza. It is a simple arch about seven feet tall that straddles the main religious pathways. The pathway apparently went on for seven miles. 

At one time around 10,000 Mayans lived at this ruin site. We asked what happened to these people! It is thought that they contracted small pox when Spanish explorers came to Cozumel, whipping out the population. The Mayan's have both a very progressive side (developed an 18 month calendar, were known for astrology, and medicine) and a more savage side (as they made human sacrifices to multiple gods). 


From the ruins, we went to a tequila distillery. These are blue agave plants! Beautiful no? Tequila is made from these plants, specifically the fruit under the earth. 


This is Ryan. His family owns this distillery called, Regalo de Dios. Ryan is an excellent salesman and truly is passionate about tequila and his family's success. Literally all of us on the tour got to sample at least 7 types of tequila. I am not a hard alcohol drinker, so I tasted each, but then passed my sample cup off to Peter. Tequila when aged is not clear. Some of the Tequila's we tasted today were aged 10-22 years! Unfortunately it was wasted on me, as I can't say I am a fan. Yet it was definitely a fascinating experience.

I would have to say many beautiful hand made products are made in Mexico. They are proud of this fact, and told us nothing was made in China! Unlike in the USA. They have beautiful silver jewelry of black coral, turquoise, and other lovely gems. 


Personally it is the bottles themselves that truly caught my eye. To me they look like big perfume bottles. 

December 20, 2017

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2003. Mattie was about a year and a half old and was a live wire. So much so that it was impossible to get him to sit still and pose for a photo. That day, I dressed Mattie in a Christmas sweater and we took him to Home Depot and Lowe's. These were the only stores Mattie gravitated to and was fascinated to look around at the displays. So we put him in a shopping cart and went to the holiday aisle of Lowe's and began snapping photos. I am quite sure others thought we were nuts. But this one photo was featured on the cover of our 2003 Christmas card. 


Quote of the day: Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. Norman Vincent Peale




Formerly British Honduras, is an independent country on the eastern coast of Central America. Belize is bordered on the north by Mexico, on the south and west by Guatemala, and on the east by the Caribbean Sea. 

Belize has an area of 8,800 sq mi and a population of 387,879 (2017). It has the lowest population density in Central America. Belize has the second largest barrier reef in the world.

Over half the population is multilingual. English is the Countries language, with Spanish being the second most common spoken language.


Our tour guide's name today was Ken, and our bus driver was Dwight. They were a great team. Clearly they are proud of their Country. Belize has a significant Mennonite population, of about 12,000 people. The Mennonite's provide corn and other crops, housing, and chicken to most of the country. This was fascinating to learn.

Only elementary school is mandatory, which was clear to me as I saw many older children wandering around by day (a day which is typically a school day). Ken explained that in Belize NO ONE goes hungry. No one dies of starvation and that is because of their community focus and helping one another. I tried to snap photos as our tour bus was driving by. This was a local fruit stand that caught my attention. 

What always catches my attention while in the Caribbean is two things: 1) the animals always are roaming around and look emaciated and 2) trash is strewn everywhere and there doesn't seem to be infrastructure to deal with this wastage. 


It is clear that upkeep on houses is very difficult in Belize. But then again, I am evaluating this from my own lens. 












We took an hour long bus ride to Altun Ha! 

Altun Ha is the name given to the ruins of an ancient Mayan city in Belize, located in the Belize District about 31 miles north of Belize City. The site covers an area of about 3.1 square miles.

Stones from the ruins of the ancient structures were reused for residential construction of the agricultural village of Rockstone Pond in modern times, but the ancient site did not come to the attention of archaeologists until 1963, after the stones were unearth during a 1961, Hurricane Hattie. 

The above photo shows the expanse of these ruins. At one time it is said that 10,000 Mayan's lived here. To live in this community, you had to be well to do! The 'regular' people lived outside in the village. This area was divided into two sections, as you see above. The part on the right was the ceremonial area and the part on the left the more residential area. 

Peter and I climbed up this ruin. It may look easier than it actually is. The steps are very steep and high! With no railings. 

In the Mayan culture, 7 and 13 are special numbers. You will see this reflected in their temples, with 7 or 13 steps up. Seven signifies the levels of the underworld. Everyone in the Mayan culture, when they die must battle the spirits at each of these 7 levels. Once they get through these levels, then they have the opportunity to move through the 13 levels to get to heaven.  

Me on top of the temple ruin you see above! Men were vital in this culture, and if the king died before the queen, the queen was killed. Killed so she could assist and support her husband as he fought the spirits in the 7 layers of the underworld. 





Check out this 54 foot climb were did! A major exercise routine!


The largest of Altun Ha's temple-pyramids, the "Temple of the Masonry Altars" is 52 feet high. 

Given that it is hard to upload photos, due to slow connectivity, I am not showing you a close up of this stone. But in the stone, is carved people with cone shaped heads and crossed eyes. This was considered beautiful, and when babies were born their heads were put between boards and tied, to make their heads flat and pointed. In addition, a bead was tied around the child's head that would dangle between the eyes. Naturally a baby would land up staring at the bead, helping it to become cross eyed. People like you and me would be considered ordinary and common. 

Peter on top of the temple! It was SUPER hot and humid. The sun's intensity was beyond describing!
My mom and I in front of the 54 foot tall temple!














December 19, 2017

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Tuesday, December 19, 2017 -- Mattie died 431 weeks ago today. 

Tonight's picture was taken on December 5, 2002. Mattie was 8 months old and experiencing his first snow fall out on our deck. The snow inspired us to dress Mattie up and snap photos. That photo shoot produced about 50 photos, of which we chose this one to be displayed on the front cover of our 2002 Christmas card. 


Quote of the day: Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone. ~ Charles M. Schulz

Greetings everyone from somewhere in the western Caribbean. This is Peter posting today as Vicki has come down with a nasty bout of seasickness, and has been knocked out from mid-morning. 

It was really awful for her as the ship has been swaying, and bobbing like the proverbial "cork on the ocean" and crashing through the waves.  Normally, Vicki (who takes Dramamine religiously when it comes to any motion, especially motion on the sea) manages on these cruises (in spite of feeling drowsy and slow for most of the trip), but this morning somehow got to her.  Poor thing. She was simply miserable. She could not get comfortable, and was both nauseous and had a raging migraine. I wish I had a magic wand today... either that or a transporter from Star Trek.

Today we continued on our trek from Key West to Belize City, Belize, where we expect to arrive tomorrow at 5am, which means today was an "at sea" day as we passed Cuba to the north and turned southward towards the Caribbean Sea. For anyone who has cruised before, you know that these "at sea" days can either be relaxing or they can be like a locked closet full of anxious squirrels all looking for an imaginary nut.... simply crazy.  On top of all that, Vicki was not feeling well.

I am glad to report that she is at least vertical now, and talking about wanting to go to dinner in a little bit, so, we will see how that goes.  Hopefully, Vicki can continue to rebound as we have a full day ahead of us tomorrow.

So, from the coast of the Yucatan, we are signing off, and tomorrow we will hopefully have some interesting shots of Belize and Mayan ruins.


Monday, December 18, 2017

Monday, December 18, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2002. This was Mattie's first Christmas. Though he had no idea what was going on as he was perplexed by having a tree in the living room and decorations every where. Yet I wanted to capture that moment in time and literally dragged Mattie's high chair over in front of the tree and snapped a photo. I am so glad that I did! In so many ways I have a visual documentation of Mattie's life from the special occasions and milestones to every day activities. 






Quote of the day: Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. 
~ Mary Ellen Chase


On Monday, we spent the day in Key West. I was unable to write the blog last night because the Viking Sky lost all connectivity. A rather scary notion. I have been writing the blog daily since 2008, so it was very unusual for me NOT to post last night. However, I got up this morning to find Wifi working, and naturally went straight for the blog. Of course, the time change helped for me to do this. We were supposed to turn the clock back last night and forgot, so I got an extra hour to myself, enabling me to do the blog!

We took a three hour walking tour yesterday of Key West. This is the Custom House which currently serves as the Key West Museum of Art & History. Exhibits include local history, famous personalities including Ernest Hemingway, maritime history, and works by local artists.

A 25-foot-high bronze sculpture (entitled, Embracing Peace), portraying the world-famous 1945 image of a sailor and nurse locked in an immortalized kiss taken in New York’s Times Square on V-J Day 1945. The installation was staged in conjunction with the centennial anniversary of Naval Air Station Key West and The Key West Art & Historical Society’s upcoming Custom House Museum exhibit “The Navy in Key West.” The two young figures are tantamount to what the Navy’s presence was and still is in Key West,” said Key West Art & Historical Society Curator Cori Convertito. “It helps demonstrate the dedication young people had in helping their country, which was so important to the country’s war efforts and ongoing endeavors towards peace and harmony.”

Since 1890, history has left its mark on the Truman Little White House. Initially, it served as the naval station’s command headquarters during the Spanish-American War, World War I and World War II. In 1946 the historic building first served as the winter White House of President Harry S. Truman and a site for the Cold War response by later presidents. Today, the Truman Little White House is a public, living, Key West museum as well as a retreat and place of government business by our nation's leaders. 

Truman Annex is both a neighborhood and military installation in Key West. It is where the winter White House for President Harry S. Truman is located from its days as part of the former Naval Station Key West. 

Today this neighborhood is probably the most beautiful and pristine part of the Island. Houses cost about $6 million, and condos in this area go for $3 million.

Many houses in Truman Annex had orchids naturally growing in their front yard!
 A butterfly fence!
 I loved the whimsy of this fence!
This tiny house, actually came over from the Bahamas. It wasn't transported by boat, instead, it floated its way up the Caribbean. It is a remaining reminder of the Caribbean influence in Key West. 
Opened by a pair of free spirits, Suanne and Richard, Blue Heaven has become its own well-known destination in key west. The chickens and cats roaming the premises are almost as famous as the food.

Apparently Ernest Hemingway frequented this restaurant/bar. The now patio dining area was once a boxing ring. Hemingway was a boxer and met his closest friend "Shiner" while boxing. It is said that he knocked Shiner's eye right out of its socket. When Hemingway wasn't writing, it sounded like he was drinking! He also was a referee at the boxing ring at Blue Heaven. 
In my opinion, you have to look through a great deal of tackiness, to see the original beauty that once comprised Key West. The old world architecture still exists, as you can see by this colorful house we passed. 
Ernest Hemingway was an American novelist, short story writer, and journalist. His economical and understated style had a strong influence on 20th-century fiction, while his life of adventure and his public image influenced later generations. Hemingway produced most of his work between the mid-1920s and the mid-1950s, and won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1954. He published seven novels, six short story collections, and two non-fiction works. Additional works, including three novels, four short story collections, and three non-fiction works, were published posthumously. Many of his works are considered classics of American literature.

This was Hemingway's bedroom. Hemingway had four wives and in actuality lived a sad life. His family and himself suffered with Bipolar Disorder, which eventually led him to kill himself. He was treated for the disease with electroshock, which apparently erased his memory, and he could never write again. 




The Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum is home to approximately 40-50 polydactyl (six-toed) cats. Cats normally have five front toes and four back toes. About half of the cats at the museum have the physical polydactyl trait but they all carry the polydactyl gene in their DNA, which means that the ones that have 4 and 5 toes can still mother or father six-toed kittens. Most cats have extra toes on their front feet and sometimes on their back feet as well. Sometimes it looks as if they are wearing mittens because they appear to have a thumb on their paw.

Ernest Hemingway was given a white six-toed cat by a ship’s captain and some of the cats who live on the museum grounds are descendants of that original cat, named Snow White. Key West is a small island and it is possible that many of the cats on the island are related. The polydactyl cats are not a particular breed. The trait can appear in any breed, Calicos, Tabbies, Tortoise Shell. White, Black, etc. They vary in shapes, sizes, colors and personalities.

Hemingway named all of his cats after famous people so we follow that same tradition today. Cats are capable of learning and responding to their names, particularly if they have an affectionate relationship with the person who calls them.


This is "Billie Holiday," the cat! She likes to sleep on Hemingway's bed!
Hemingway's pool! He was the first house in Key West to have a pool. Pauline, his second wife, had the pool built while he was away. It cost $20,000 which was unheard of in those days. 








This the famous Duval Street in Key West. From the photo, it looks very quaint and colorful. However, from my perspective, it is hard to believe this street is part of the USA. The street is filled with bars. Literally you can't take two steps without hitting another bar. We saw people heavily drinking by day, so you can get a feeling for the rowdiness at night. 

Drinking and partying are a significant way of life in Key West. There maybe a lot to explain the origin of this, but it is clear Hemingway was one of the biggest fans of this lifestyle. 

Route 1 goes from Key West all the way up to Maine. On one side of the street you can see the start sign and the other side you can see the end sign for Route 1. 
My mom, Peter, and me with the end sign of Route 1. 


We are now at sea today heading to Belize. 

December 17, 2017

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken on December 5, 2002. I mentioned in last night's blog that it was the first snow fall of the season and with that, we were inspired to take photos of Mattie. He brought him outside in a cute Santa onesie and hat. He was sitting in his entertainment saucer and literally I was jumping around in the background trying to get him to smile while Peter was snapping photos. This was NOT the photo that made it to the front of our family Christmas card, but it is priceless nonetheless. Mattie was laughing and getting a kick out of my antics. 


Quote of the day: My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?Bob Hope



We woke up this morning to this glorious sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean. We captured this right from our hotel room. I feel that this was a Mattie sign. 
This is our first experience taking a Viking Ocean Cruise. Peter and I have been on 14 cruises prior to this one, most of which were with Princess Cruises. 

Viking has a totally different flavor from most commercial cruise lines. First of all, you have to be 16 and older to board the ship. This eliminates a lot of noise, activity, partying and the list goes on. There are NO organized kid activities what so ever. 

This is what our cabin looks like. Viking was very kind to give up a free upgrade to a junior suite. We did not ask for it, but it feels like a Christmas gift. I am convinced we received this upgrade after I spoke to a representative on the phone a few days ago. I told him about my previous cruising experiences, and my hope that this would be better. I think he heard what I was saying and wanted to help immediately with making this a positive experience for us. A spacious cabin with a ton of amenities makes a huge difference. 


This was a luggage mat that was placed on our bed, so we could unpack. I loved the quote on the mat..... "Only one who wanders finds new paths."

In the atrium or lobby area of the ship, there is an amazing gingerbread house display. In fact, the fragrance of gingerbread is incredible! Mattie would have loved the toy train going around on the track!
What you can't see is in front of the gingerbread houses is a grand piano. A pianist was entertaining all of us, so we had a total sight and sound experience.  
This was basically the vantage point the pianist had. She was located in the center of the atrium.
We went up the steps and looked down at the pianist. I think you get a good feeling for the huge and expansive atrium space.
What I notice right away on a Viking Cruise is there aren't massive hoards of people, there isn't loud music playing, announcements and marketing material being pushed on you, and all of that is welcomed. 

Yet it isn't exactly as promised either. Getting on the ship was NOT an expedited process like promised. In fact, they really do not regulate who shows up to go through the registration process. So in theory any passenger on the ship can show up early, go through the check in process, and then wait in the registration area until their cabin level is allowed on the ship. This isn't exactly a lovely experience because instead of staggered registrations, everyone crowds onto the registration lines at one time. 

This afternoon, we experienced our first buffet on the Viking. In comparison to a Princess Cruise, the variety of foods is smaller, and the Viking controls how much food you have access to, because they serve you (even from a buffet). Yet the food is very fresh and good, and all the servers are lovely. We met the manager of the ship's restaurants and we asked him a ton of questions because we do not understand the logistics of this any time dining. So tonight should be revealing! He did admit that YES there are lines of people on a Viking Cruise who cue up for dinner. Which of course was something NOT revealed by the sales and marketing people on shore. We knew it had to be the case with 900 passengers. 

This was our sail away from Miami. It actually was a very lovely and picturesque departure! 

Another perk on Viking is they give you free Wifi. Totally different from a Princess Cruise. So for a person like myself who is glued to my phone, it is wonderful to have access to email and the internet at all times. My phone became my safety blanket when Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. 

Good bye Miami! We are headed to Key West, FL!