Monday, August 17, 2026

Monday, August 17, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2005. Mattie was three years old and we were visiting Los Angeles. My mom got Mattie a toy! However, notice what Mattie was playing with...... not the toy but the box! Totally a Mattie Brown move! Mattie gravitated to boxes and boxes were typically incorporated into his play schemes. As he got older, he loved decorating and building with boxes. Boxes of all shapes and sizes! Which was why, when Mattie was hospitalized and getting cancer treatment, all of his psychosocial providers knew to SAVE all packing boxes for Mattie. 

Quote of the day: Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. ~ Viktor Frankl

Over the next couple of days, I will be facing the final steps to closing my mortgage assumption. It has been such a hard journey, that I now have to retrain myself not to feel anxiety and have my heart pounding over the phone ringing at all times of the day or be paranoid about emails popping up in my inbox! This process was non-stop stress and pressure and I got conditioned over these four months to jump whenever they called or emailed demanding more materials or information. I can't wait until this hurdle is completed and to know that there will be no outsiders interfering with the safety and security of my housing. 

This morning after dropping my dad off at his memory care center and running chores, I came home and in between doing bouts of laundry, I sat down to focus on completing another continuing education course for my license renewal. So that is three more hours completed, toward my required 40 hours! Thankfully I have until July 2027 to do this, but the goal I set for myself is to be over 30 hours by August. I am currently at 28 hours completed! Seriously I have no idea how I even got to 28 hours, because juggling what I do in any given day, makes it hard to focus. But there are things I will not compromise on.... one is my license (as I worked hard to get it in the first place) and two, my physical health. 

The next issue I am facing are mosquitos! This is the first year these pests are coming into the house and biting my parents. I treat the yard for mosquitoes, so I called the company today and told them..... it's not working! I can't tell you how many I killed in the house today and I know they are flying in whenever I open the doors. I sprayed by the doors this afternoon because when my dad gets bites, all he focuses on is scratching his skin off! While outside spraying, I decided to cut back my roses. Some people need to scream for therapy, I just need to get my hedge trimmer and start cutting away at things. This is the beauty of the spring and summer..... I can escape to my garden! 

Sunday, August 16, 2026

Sunday, August 16, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2004. Mattie was two years old and was in Los Angeles visiting my parents. It was a yearly tradition, in which we would spend two weeks with my parents every August. Mattie loved California and he especially loved visiting at winter time, because Mattie's favorite place to be was outside, in nature. I look at this photo now, and it is hard to believe that Mattie is gone, that my dad is no longer the person he used to be, and let's not even talk about the loss of the person who took this photo of us.  

Quote of the day: Cooking is the ultimate giving. ~ Jamie Oliver

The man in orange was a student of my mom's many years ago! I have known Gary since I was in middle school! So we go back a long time. Gary has never lost touch with my mom and while he and his wife were in town, they came over today to visit. We had a lovely time chatting and eating. Apparently my frittata and lemon/blueberry loaf were hits! 

When I asked my mom where she wanted to me to serve brunch today, she voted on the dining room. Originally I was going to serve us at the kitchen table, but my mom wanted it to be special. Since we are always eating in the kitchen, I agreed with her. So last night, I set the table, I assembled several bouquets of roses together from my garden and the the table looked very inviting. My goal was for it to be a special visit for my mom and for people to feel relaxed and enjoy a meal together. 

Of course my dad was up to his usual irritable bowel tricks, and I jumped up three times from the table to manage his needs. Given that brunch was a lot easier to serve, let's say than a big holiday meal, jumping up and down worked. 

Gary and Lisa dropped their son off at college, which was why they were in town. I am not sure milestones like this will ever be easy for me to hear. As it is a very painful reality that Mattie never made it passed age 7, and so many special moments and memories that other families share, I missed. I certainly can be mature and sensitive enough to appreciate these milestone moments for others, but at the same time, I am human and have deep feelings. 

On another note, check out this cutie. She was in my front yard yesterday! I can't see this beautiful sight without thinking of the film, Bambi, and of course, that I can't think of the movie Bambi without thinking of my Mattie. Funny how all things lead back to my Mattie Brown!