Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008. Mattie had quite a sense of humor despite being on chemotherapy and locked up in a PICU. Peter helped Mattie blow up rubber gloves to look like turkeys. Mattie then opened up the curtains in his room, so that the nurses in the hallway could see his turkey display and performance. In fact, he startled many nurses and residents that day. After all at that point Mattie was really an unknown to the hospital staff since he had only been hospitalized a month. As the months wore on, practically everyone knew Mattie, and understood his need for humor, entertainment, and challenges.
Poem of the day: The Reunion by Charlie Brown
Mom, I know that you miss me
And I miss you too
I wish I could come back
And spend the day with you
And tell you of the things
That make my heart soar
Of rainbows and angels
And oh so much more
I run and I jump
And often I fly
Sometimes I see you
So try not to cry
I miss you a lot
But I can't come home
I am with you in spirit
None of us are alone
One day we'll be together
I promise, you'll see
And we'll celebrate our reunion
You, Daddy and me.
I spent a good portion of the day working on post Walk paperwork. I am still trying to dig out from this event. I made some headway today, but have quite a ways to go. Later on in the day, I spent some time with Ann and her children. But for the most part I would say I spent the day alone, and when I wasn't alone, I did not spend much time talking. I would say post-Walk has been challenging for me and I am not sure when this feeling will lighten up.
I would like to share more photos from the Walk with you tonight. The photo on the left features the registration tent, with our registration coordinator, Christine in the center, and going from left to right is Tanja, Jennifer, Katharina (who is 10), and in the back corner of the registration tent, you can see Ellen, our volunteer coordinator talking to her son, Tyler.Right: The climbing wall was a popular attraction at this year's Walk. The man with the black jacket and shorts with his back to the camera is Larry Jenney. Larry was one of Mattie's kindergarten teachers, and was the head coordinator of the climbing wall, and did an excellent job managing the line and assuring children's safety.
Left: The climbing wall in action!Right: I happen to love this particular photo. Mainly because it captures children stringing their MMCF beads onto a backpack clip and taking the process seriously. However, the little boy in the picture is Mattie's good friend, Campbell. There is something about Campbell's expression that makes me feel as if he is deep into thought about the event and his friend.
Left: Mattie's good buddy, Charlotte, walking and beading! Got to love that smile! I know that Mattie loved hearing Charlotte laugh, mainly because when she laughs it just makes you happy, and want to laugh too.
I would like to end tonight's posting with a message from my friend, Charlie. Charlie wrote, "I do truly believe Mattie is in a place where he can exercise his imagination and slide down rainbows, fly with birds and build with clouds. I know you grieve and I do too, both for his loss and for you, but if there is life after, Mattie certainly has a wonderful place in it. I've read the arguments for and against the existence of a higher power and all I can say is that there is nothing to lose by believing but much to regret by not having faith. Of course you're angry, Mattie should be here with you, living and learning and growing up with you and with his friends; I wish I could do something to change what we have into what we want but it is beyond any of us. As you work your way through this there will be good days and bad days and yes, around two years is how long it takes. That doesn't mean you forget or you stop missing Mattie; it just means you have the emotional ability to continue to live a productive life. And although you know this, I will say it anyway, that number "two years" is not a magic line that you step over. It is just the average time it takes for those who've suffered the kind of loss that you have to have more good days than bad and to be solidly on a track of living life with loss and with grace. I know that you are having a tough time and I continue to pray for you. I hold you gently in my thoughts."
No comments:
Post a Comment