Monday, October 8, 2012Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. Mattie was in the Hospital hallway awaiting a chemistry club demonstration. Mattie loved this Club and the Club's president! The Club always did fun, educational, and most of all hands on activities which intrigued Mattie. As you can see Mattie was in a wheelchair recovering from his first limb salvaging surgery. Along side him was Brandon, his big buddy, and the dynamic duo (Lesley and Whitney; child life interns). Thankfully Brandon is doing well and has no evidence of disease! This was a wonderful foursome at the Hospital, and I will never forget how wonderful these three individuals were with Mattie.
Quote of the day: Even a small star shines in the darkness. ~ Finnish Proverb
Today felt like a whirlwind! It was one chore after another, after another. However, at the end of today, I can say I was very productive. This morning, I had the opportunity to bump into Maria. Maria is our friend, who happens to work in our complex. Maria babysits our plants when we go away, and she is the main reason why our plants haven't died throughout this summer! Maria is an avid blog reader and she brought a smile to my face today when she told me how helpful the blog is to her. She feels my writings have enabled her to more freely talk to others who are grieving. The greatest misconception about grief is that talking about it only makes us feel sadder. However, what I have found is universally we need to be heard, listened to, and allowed to tell our grief story. However, unlike other issues, grief is the kind of pervasive issue that permeates all aspects of our lives, and yet mainstream society is truly out of touch with this reality. The typical workplace expects one to bounce right back to work within a week's time, and most work settings rarely talk about a loss. I am not sure if this is done out of fear or because it is deemed inappropriate to talk about grief at work. From my perspective this is not only unnatural, but unhealthy. Grief is an emotion that all of us experience at one point or another, and truly the only way to combat grief is to talk about it and to also be included somehow back into the world of the living (which means surrounding one's self with people the griever deems safe and trust worthy).
As my conversation with Maria did reveal today, it is easy for me to experience vast emotions in a short period of time. Some days or moments the reality of Mattie's loss is right on the surface, and in those rare times I will cry. In fact, this weekend, I saw news coverage of the christening of the US Destroyer Ship, the USS Michael Murphy. The christening took place in New York, and the Ship was named in honor of a brave and heroic navy seal who died in 2005 in Afghanistan, at the tender age of 29. To read more about Lt. Michael Murphy, go to: http://www.navy.mil/moh/mpmurphy/index.html. I saw an interview with Michael's mom, and the newscaster said "congratulations" to her on having a Navy ship named after the memory of her heroic son. I got the sentiments the newscaster was trying to convey, but chances are this mom would have preferred to have her son alive! As this mom was speaking, I immediately identified with her because seven years later, this loss is still VERY, VERY fresh for her. She said some days she is not sure how she gets through the day, and her candor and devastation were very real for me. So real, that I landed up crying while watching and listening to her speak. We lost our sons in two different ways, but at the core, I get the magnitude of her loss.
On a brighter note, I received an article tonight from my friend Karen. The article is entitled, "This Cabbie Just wants to make your day sweeter." I found this to be a feel good story, and I related to this Cabbie! There is something very special in sharing sweets with others when they are stressed. I know all too well that when living in a hospital, NO ONE is going to perk up or smile to receive nutritious and healthy food. Instead, the smiles and joy come from seeing sugar!!! This Cabbie shares my joy, and because of the generosity he received, he wants to pass this warmth along. The analogy for Peter and I, would be the food cart we offer at the hospital which provides free snacks (especially candy!!!) to families battling childhood cancer. Team Mattie provided us with countless snacks and for me hundreds of pounds of chocolate, so now in our small way we are trying to return the kindness to others.
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/cab-a-sweet-ride-article-1.1175246#ixzz28UY3JcDg
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