Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Tuesday, December 4, 2012 -- Mattie died 169 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2008. What you can't see was right next to Mattie and Peter was a huge dog. This dog belonged to one of my students and she thought Mattie would love to spend the afternoon with Jacks. She was correct. So in essence Mattie and Jacks had a race with each other. If you look closely you can see Mattie smiling! Which wasn't an easy accomplishment since as Mattie's treatment continued on the impact on his mood was significant.




Quote of the day: Here’s what I know: death abducts the dying, but grief steals from those left behind. ~ Katherine Owen


Tonight I went on the Internet to look up the test I am taking tomorrow. Though I am VERY familiar with the test, I was curious to see how it was described. In one of the descriptions it says that the test is NOT painful! I literally laughed out loud with that statement! To me it seemed as if I was reading a some sort of promotional material put out by the manufacturer of the test! Because anyone in their right mind has to think this test is painful! In fact, I would advocate for this test to be given with sedation.

Having been exposed to the health care system in such a significant way with Mattie's cancer battle, I realize there is just SO much that needs an overhaul and that must be changed. I am continually perplexed with the level of insensitivity that doctors and radiology techs have for patients undergoing procedures. The doctors prescribe the tests but they really do not take seriously the fears that their patients express. I saw this happen time and time again with Mattie and his first oncologist. Actually Mattie's first oncologist gave me very rich material that we use often when we are asked to educate health care professionals about our experience. Some of the things this doctor said to us were so off base and insulting, that they seem too far fetched to be real. But unfortunately they were VERY real, and my mind has trapped each and every one of his insensitive comments.

Recently I was talking to a medical doctor at the palliative care seminar we attended and I told her that medical students should have to experience exactly what their patients do. From living in a hospital room, to IVs, and even procedures. Chances are real personal insights would rapidly change the scientific coolness that they embrace and take pride in!

This afternoon, I went to my friend Mary's 84th birthday luncheon. I met Mary in 2008, at her 80th birthday party. Now four years later, I can safely say that I have spent the last five birthdays with Mary. Though Mary was unable to speak, it was very evident that she appreciated the party, those in attendance, and the beautiful flowers everyone brought to her.