Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. Mattie was in the child life playroom of the hospital creating with model magic. That stuff was the ideal clay, it wasn't messy or toxic. You could mold it into any shape, color it, and then it would dry into a hard structure. That day Mattie created an under water scene and designed all sorts of creatures to go into the sea. However, Mattie's under water vision also included a bridge going over the water and if you look closely the bridge was filled with many hot wheel cars! After Legos, hot wheel cars had to be one of his favorites!
Quote of the day: Healing takes place when grievances are given ample and patient space to be acknowledged, when there is transparency and honesty, when everybody is given the chance to be heard, when nobody is excluded, when people can accept the energy of the conflict and use it as a major opportunity for growth. ~ Franco Santoro
This afternoon I ventured with my mom to her line dancing class. I think people have a misconception about line dancing. Most people associate it with country music and pop culture, i.e. the electric slide, Elvira, boot scooting boogie, and so forth. However, line dancing is actually much more complicated!!! Since I was a little girl, I have always done some form of dancing from ballet, tap dancing, and even modern dance. Though I didn't do any dancing while in graduate school (which was too many years to count), I would like to think that my years of training kick in when I am on a dance floor. Not unlike riding a bicycle.
Last year when I visited my parents, my mom took me to her line dancing class. I was expecting to like it, after all, I was familiar with pop culture line dancing. However to my dismay I HATED her class. I mean HATED it!!! So much so that I did not want to go back today. Line dancing involves dancing to all four quadrants of the room. Why this should be so disorienting, I don't know, but for me it is! I can learn any dance step you give me in one direction, but when you face me in another direction, it is like I have amnesia.
I did go with my mom today (who dances VERY well!) which in all reality was the result of developing some courage and realizing Rome was not built in a day. No one likes to look helpless and stupid in front of others!!! Fortunately my mom has a new teacher, who I liked a lot better than the previous teacher. Though I still had great challenges, it was slightly easier this time. I have a feeling the more one does this, the more one gets used to dancing in quadrants. Since all the people in the class know each other, they clearly could tell I was the outsider. Several asked if I took line dancing classes in DC! I thought that was a hoot, since I did not have the foggiest notion what I was doing. But I can be light on my feet which helps to conceal many mistakes! Any case, one of the participants in the class was a former college dance teacher. She told me she has been dancing for over 40 years and when she first entered this line dancing class she was totally confused and disoriented. I told her I appreciated her candor because I was perplexed as to why this is so difficult for me. This teacher also told me that line dancing is excellent stimulation for the brain, and I totally believe her. I spent two hours truly concentrating tonight.
I do think the key to doing this, like everything else in life, is not to take it too seriously. I found when I wasn't wrapped up with making mistakes that my body seemed to flow better with the music. Isn't that the truth about life too!? To give you an idea of what we did tonight, I found a you tube video of the dance "Silver Lining," which was one of several dance routines we learned tonight. It will give you a feeling for the turns and quadrants that I am talking about!
Silver Lining Dance Routine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4bzSEmb2HE
It was another glorious weather day in Los Angeles. Sun and in the 80s! Close to 90 actually. I just can't get over how one coast can be moving into the Fall and cooler temperatures and out here things are green and lush. But people here take it for granted. On the East Coast on a day like today people would be out and about. They would want to eat lunch outside and just soak up the sunshine. It is quite different in LA. I suppose one just gets accustomed to what one has and takes it for granted. But I know that 80 degree weather in October is to be cherished and I only have a few more days of it. Whether I am on the East coast or the West coast, Mattie is gone from my life and that is a daily reality I face. But this reality combined with cold weather and greyness somehow magnifies the sadness and depression that comes from the absence of such a beautiful seven year old life force.
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