A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



May 17, 2014

Friday, May 16, 2014

Friday, May 16, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken on May 25 of 2009. I remember this day very well. It was a Saturday. The night before I went home and slept there and Peter spent the night alone with Mattie. By that point in treatment, I occasionally had to take a weekend night off because I was having trouble functioning. When I came back to the hospital that day, Mattie was happy to see me and gave me a big greeting. Peter captured that tender moment. I can still remember what that cute bald head and those cheeks felt like. Mattie's skin was super soft and had a baby quality to it always!


Quote of the day: I strongly believe that missionaries make better products. They care more. For a missionary, it's not just about the business. There has to be a business, and the business has to make sense, but that's not why you do it. You do it because you have something meaningful that motivates you. ~ Jeff Bezos


I have reached the point this week that I can't even string sentences together to write the blog. This is very unlike me because even under the worst of circumstance I can usually write. But I am absolutely depleted! In all reality, I have not been feeling well physically since February. I have been holding on somehow by a shoe string, but now I have reached the end of my rope, and if I do not get rest soon, I won't be able to function. 

On another note, a family friend of Peter's wrote to us yesterday about her husband who underwent a very complex cancer surgery at Georgetown Hospital. This friend is an avid blog reader and has been following our story for years. On occasion, she even writes to us with her insights and compassionate thoughts and feelings! Which are always appreciated. She is also a cat lover, so though we have never met, we are sympathico! Any case, in her email yesterday, the subject header was, "I'm finally starting to understand!" 

What is she understanding? Well she wanted us to know that now that she is helping her husband battle cancer and is living in the hospital she completely appreciates what we went through with Mattie. She always appreciated it but now appreciates it on a much deeper level and frankly doesn't know how we did it with a child, since she feels going through it with an adult patient is bad enough! As usual her comments were insightful as were her observations about how daunting it is to care for someone post surgery! 

In her email she also mentioned that she wished her husband was offered some Legos, which of course doesn't happen in the world of adult oncology. The whole notion of Legos always strikes a chord with me because Legos were vital during our cancer existence!!! They were our therapeutic saving grace when Mattie was fighting for his life. Therefore I was determined to find this fellow some Legos! So when I need something at Georgetown, my faithful readers know who I contact................. Linda!!! Mattie's child life specialist! All I know is if I get sick, I would like Linda by my side, and I am NOT a child! This is a woman who understands how to advocate, know how to work through networks and channels within a hospital setting, and also knows how to handle a crisis. I saw it and experienced it numerous times. Any case, I told Linda about our friend's husband and asked her if she would deliver him a Lego set! Guess who got Legos tonight??! Who says Legos are just for kids? They are not!!! Legos kept me and Peter sane, and I hope they do their colorful magic in this ICU room this week. 

1 comment:

Cassandra said...

Yes, they did their "colorful magic" for us, it touched my mother-in-law and Charlie when they were delivered, and I started to cry. So, yes, they were delivered and very welcome! Thank you!