Mattie Miracle Walk 2023 was a $131,249 success!

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

May 14, 2014

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken on May 11 of 2009, right after the Mattie March. We took Mattie home after the festivities and he was joined by his cousins. Who he enjoyed spending time with both when he was healthy and when he was battling cancer. This photo captured a happy time, which for Mattie was few and far between. Notice the black cat face painting that Mattie requested at the March. Mattie loved cats and I suppose he was partial to them because we were a cat owner. Yet anytime he could get his face painted, his number one choice was always a CAT! You may have noticed the logo of the first Mattie March t-shirt here and in the last several photos I have been posting this week. In a way the logo was designed by Mattie's care community and Mattie. The orange background of the shirt is an image of Mattie's Mr. Sun painting, which hangs in our dining room. In addition, if you look carefully there is also a photo of Mattie embedded into the sun! We wanted to make it whimsical. 


Quote of the day: We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone. ~ Orson Welles


It was another busy day for the Foundation. However, in the midst of the busyness, I got an innocent and yet profound text message from my friend in cancer. Remember this is her first year grieving the loss of her son. We are at totally different points on the continuum of grief and yet we understand each other. She pointed out a feeling, I noticed within my first year as well. The phenomenon is a sort of post-holiday blues. In a way dealing with the aftermath of any holiday once your child dies is almost worse than bracing for the actual holiday itself. As strange as that sounds! I don't know if it is psychological. Maybe people offer us more support on the actual holiday, or we are just more cognizant of the holiday and therefore prepare ourselves for that day. Either case, once the day is done, to some extent so are we. Set backs can easily occur and it doesn't take much to cause us to spiral further down hill. As if going down further were even possible. But the depths of grief for a parent are deep and they also can be frightening. I truly believe we could try to describe this feeling to you, as I attempt to do at times on this blog, but I am not sure I still do an adequate enough job at depicting the devastation.  

However, because my friend and I are on different ends of the continuum, I sometimes suspect, or can imagine what she may be headed to feeling or experiencing in the near future. Of course telling her my feelings or observations wouldn't be helpful because again they were my experiences and they may not play out this way for her. I also think too much information about the grief process really isn't helpful. It has to be managed in small dosages, otherwise, it is really like getting hit by a tidal wave and carried out to sea without a life vest. The first year of grieving is definitely like living on a perpetual emotional roller coaster. With panic ensuing, anxiety, and living on the edge between break downs, numbness, sheer shock and confusion. But this rawness does dissipate, and naturally the question is to what? After my numbness wore off, my reality sunk in and that is when my true grieving began. For me, this started happening around year one and it wasn't a pretty picture. So when people tell me the first year is the worst, I laugh, because yes year one was hard, but year two was no picnic. Frankly any year without your child is a struggle. It may not be as raw and desperate as the first year, but with time comes deeper and actually more heart breaking pain and reality. I am continually perplexed by this one year time frame within our society and I truly wonder who established this myth and keeps perpetuating it! It simply needs to stop because it does more harm than good. 

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