Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2008. Shortly after Mattie was diagnosed with cancer, Margaret came over to visit Mattie. In fact, a week ago today, I visited Margaret. I sat with her to say good-bye, she may have been alive, but she was not conscious per se. However, I would like to think she still could hear what I was saying. I shared many stories with her, one of which involved her visit on the day this photo was taken! That day, I left Margaret and Mattie for a little while in our home to spend time with each other, low and behold when I came back, there was a huge crane outside our window and literally the walls of our balcony had been stripped away! When Margaret replayed what had transpired for us it was down right hysterical because here she was over to entertain and play with Mattie, never realizing that the entertainment was going to come from an enormous crane demolishing our balcony right outside our window. It was an incredible sight and and Mattie was absolutely in awe over the whole thing. Margaret and I chuckled over this for years to come, because this was totally out of the blue, none of us were expecting it and yet it was the perfect diversion and activity to change Mattie's mood!
Quote of the day: Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart. ~ Washington Irving
It is my hope that my reflections that I have shared on the blog this week of Margaret have given you some feeling for the amazing woman she was, for the incredible loss this is for all of us who knew her, and how the world is truly a bit more bleak without her presence in it. These are only some of my words and feelings but to me silence regarding someone you care about is NEVER appropriate.
Tomorrow, Peter and I are driving to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We haven't been there in maybe a decade. This region of the Country holds many memories for us. This is where Mattie spent his toddler summers, and before Mattie was born, Peter and I ventured down there as a newly married couple. However, we haven't returned there in many years and I am sure a great many things have changed since our last trip. All I can remember is my amazement and awe with the Outer Banks the first time we drove over the causeway. There was something about it that seemed magical to me, but then again, I have read every Nicholas Sparks book out there and therefore am intrigued with his fictionalized account of North Carolina. Which is why we went to Emerald Isle last summer.
It has been a very stressful, disheartening, debilitating, and grief filled spring for us.... with losing Mary in March, Jocelyn in April, and now Margaret in June. Any one of these losses would be overwhelming, taken in total, well it just becomes almost toxic. All on top of Mattie, a loss that we honestly still can't make sense out of and continue to grapple with. So tomorrow, I will be writing to you from the Outer Banks, and I consider myself lucky enough at this point to be fever free to do that.
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