Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2009, around the time Mattie had his sternotomy. I remember taking this photo for several reasons. First of which it was hard to imagine that Mattie just had his entire chest cavity cracked open and yet here he was smiling and engaging with us. Mattie's body was cut and scarred in every which direction to try to remove cancer from his bones. That alone was very unsettling to accept.... to see a child physically battered in this way. There is no nice way of saying it. However, on the tray next to Mattie, you can see this little toy robot with a red head. This is not a toy any of us gave him. This was a toy his surgeon gave him. Dr. Chahine left a memorable impression on me. Not only from surgery day, but the days preparing for the surgery and post-op. Dr. Chahine is the doctor who came to visit Mattie every day. He did not send one of his residents. This made a big difference to me and having children of his own, I feel this gave him insights into what this must have all been like for Mattie. Mattie loved the toy (particularly anything mechanical) so this helped to bridge the gap between doctor and patient.
Quote of the day: Some days, 24 hours is too much to stay put in, so I take the day hour by hour, moment by moment. I break the task, the challenge, the fear into small, bite-size pieces. I can handle a piece of fear, depression, anger, pain, sadness, loneliness, illness. I actually put my hands up to my face, one next to each eye, like blinders on a horse.
~ Regina Brett
I can't believe it is July 1st! To me it still feels like we are back in May. Literally it takes me a month to process the Walk, put things away, and deal with all administrative tasks from the event. I sometimes wonder why in June I am so worn out, but then when I examine what the Foundation accomplished this year alone it explains a lot. On top of all the work, I then planned our largest fundraiser for the year, the Walk. Planning the walk required me to burn the candle from both ends and some days I was working 14 or more hours. Not just five days a week, but seven. That may only partially explain why each summer I become chronically ill. I do believe the other part of it is also timed with the notion of what summer represents and the simple fact that Mattie was diagnosed on July 23rd. A day that will remain with me always. Summer will never be that fun loving season it once represented.
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