Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2009. Mattie was attending his community organized Mattie March. The entire baseball team came to the event and each and every player came up to fist pump Mattie. They even bestowed upon him a team signed ball (which you can see in Mattie's left hand).
Quote of the day: There are some hurts that you never completely get over. And you think that time will diminish their presence and to a degree it does, but it still hurts because well, hurt hurts. ~ Bernajoy Vaal
In the midst of hosting our 10th anniversary Walk & Family Festival, we have had family in town and several family friends. It has been a three ring circus coordinating activities, dinners, and transportation for many people. Naturally I am happy people want to come in from out of town to support us, and therefore I make every effort possible so people feel appreciated and special.
Which maybe why I wasn't prepared for what was dished out to me tonight at a group dinner. Basically I was told that I have to "move on" and "get over" what happened to Mattie and "live my life." It was suggested that I have other children and that I start to use my degree/license to truly help children with cancer. Frankly hearing this couldn't have come at a worse time, though I am not sure there is ever a good time to unload such venom on a mom who lost a child to caner.
I can assure you, if I posted these hurtful comments to Facebook, about a thousand childhood cancer advocates would be lighting up my page in disgust! Such insensitive comments can incense bereaved parents! I would like to think the comments were not intended to be hurtful, nonetheless, I find it fascinating when people think they know better, when in reality they truly are clueless and have a total lack of insight.
How someone could attend our Walk, see our 10th anniversary posters, and conclude that I am NOT helping children with cancer is beyond me. I was able to have the vision for psychosocial standards of care because that is my lens. It is my educational background and professional training that has allowed me to see what is severely lacking in our country's medical system and not only advocate for it, but find a way to make it a reality on a grander scale. Not helping one or two children at a time, but the potential to help every child diagnosed with cancer, every child in survivorship, or every family managing the forever loss of a child!
I am still digging out for the Walk and will be for some time, but I would have to say tonight's conversation first made me upset, but now I am just angry. I was bombarded with ignorant, insensitive, and deeply disturbing comments, including that I am a therapist, so I should know that it isn't healthy to continue this focus on Mattie. Really? Fascinating! Instead of acknowledging this traumatic loss and admiring how I have tried to move forward with it to help others, I am instead chastised and practically called unhealthy and unhelpful to the childhood cancer community. All I can say is WOW!
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