Friday, May 6, 2022

Friday, May 6, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2003. Mattie was a year old and full of energy. Though Mattie wasn't walking independently, he was definitely moving around while holding onto things. The funny thing about Mattie was he did not want to walk, he wanted to move right into running. The beauty of Mattie, which I knew as his mom, was he was going to do things on his own time line, not one established by a pediatrician. 

Quote of the day: Today me will live in the moment, unless it's unpleasant. In which case me will eat a cookie. ~ the Cookie Monster

This morning, I accomplished my usual routine. After dropping my dad off at his memory care center, I drove to Washington, DC to get my hair conditioned and cut. I haven't done this in about a year. My hair looked terrible. Typically when my dad is at the center, I am either doing work or doing something with my mom. Today, I left all of this behind for about three hours, and tried to just let all of my daily stresses go. 

Being independent without caregiving tasks in tow, I was able to get my hair done and then drive to Mattie's hospital to make a donation of toiletries. While outside the hospital, I ran into Mattie's social worker and one of his nursing techs. Both lovely women. So though this hospital has changed since Mattie died, there are a core group of people who remain who I will always be grateful to, who made a huge difference in our lives, and are Mattie's legacy keepers. For me, whenever I go back on that campus, I am reminded of our cancer journey with Mattie, and how it was our home away from home. That feeling most likely will always remain for me. 

At the same time, I received a beautiful message from a music volunteer at Mattie's hospital. Anthony (as you see in this photo) plays the violin beautifully and for decades he shares his skills at hospitals and other institutions within our community. In fact, Anthony also met my friend Margy, when she was treated for ovarian cancer. But on April 15, Anthony came to my dad's memory care center and that is when my dad and Anthony united and chatted. No surprise to me, Anthony remembered Mattie. Which is why he wrote to me today. His email message was beyond touching and I am so impressed with Anthony, who has devoted a good part of his life to freely sharing music to patients and families in need of hope, joy, and peace. What are the chances that one musician could know my son, my friend, and my dad?  

When I arrived back home today, I was surprised by a box of goodies from Spoonful of Comfort. The goodies came from my long time friend in Boston, Jen. Jen and I went to graduate school together. There is something to be said for gifts that you aren't expecting. They have a way of brightening dark days, especially when I feel very isolated from non-stop caregiving. Frankly I don't know how I will have any friends left given how I lead my current life. 

If you aren't familiar with Spoonful of Comfort, the founder who created it was inspired by her own mother's cancer diagnosis and the fact that her mom lived in Canada and she lived in the states. She wanted to send her mom comfort foods, like soup, but at the time, no company like this existed. When her mom died, she decided to meet this need. However, what catches your attention immediately are the boxes. Each box is colorful and has a meaningful quote on it. As my loyal readers know..... I love quotes! 

Tonight's quote on the blog came right off of this box! I absolutely agree with Cookie Monster. Life's unpleasantness is more bearable with a cookie!

A Mother Theresa quote!

I took my parents out to lunch today. Since my parent's arrived in Virginia, we have frequented Clyde's of Reston. We have gotten to know many of the wait staff and the assistant general manager. Honestly for me it is like how the cast of characters on Cheers must have felt. YES I KNOW THIS WAS A TV SHOW, and not reality. But you get my gist. You feel like family when you walk in. 

Of course, like everything else in my life, this restaurant is closing its doors on May 21, after decades of service to the community. It figures, the one place my parent's love, that is close to our home, and where everyone knows our name. Life is full of adjustments, and I just don't care for it one bit. 

In the midst of everything else I have going on, we have the Foundation fundraiser next week and we are in the throes of what feels like a HOA battle regarding the house next door to us, which is proposing a full blown demolition. Needless to say, I am not an HOA fan and I have no hope that they will rise to the occasion and support those of us who are living in the community and thereby abide by their own community by-laws.