Tuesday, July 5, 2022

Tuesday, July 5, 2022 -- Mattie died 666 weeks ago today. 

Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2005. Mattie was three years old and in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. For a couple of years we went down there each July. Over time Mattie learned to appreciate the ocean and the sand. So much so that we had to pull him off the beach some days. Mattie wasn't into water activities, but was more interested in building with sand. Building all sorts of creations and finding natural objects along the shore line. 

Quote of the day: You have power over your mind--not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. ~ Marcus Aurelius

This was our first fourth of July in our house. For the past twenty years, we have seen the National Capitol fireworks show right outside our townhouse in Washington, DC. It was very special to live so close to the National Mall and to have access to so much, without having to drive. The fireworks were definitely one of the perks of living in Foggy Bottom (in Washington, DC). 

Last night there was chaos all around us. As practically every neighbor let off fireworks. As you can see in this photo, our backyard was aglow. I wasn't thrilled and Sunny was frightened. At least in the District of Columbia we knew that the firework show would last twenty minutes and then they were over. Here, they seemed to go on all night. Which made it difficult to help Sunny. 

This morning, I opened our bedroom blinds and this is what I saw. A mother and her baby! Mattie would have absolutely LOVED this sight! At moments like these, Mattie would turn to me and say.... they are just like us! 

A close up of Bambi. Of course it is blurry, as I photographed it quickly through the window and blinds. 

While my dad was at the memory care center, I took my mom out for lunch. She really needs structure and routine and she isn't a person who likes to stay home. I try to accommodate her, which of course means I never get anything I need to do done. My mom is very emotional about our living situation. She is cognizant of all the work I am doing and this doesn't make her happy. But at this point, she is aware of the fact that my dad needs full time support and I am slowly helping her understand that she does too. When we talk about all of this, her response to me is that she has lived too long. Or that she did not do something right, because both my dad and her are quite infirmed. I hear this constantly, but there are no answers to any of this. I can only deal with the here and now and all I know is they are a full-time job times ten!