Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2003. Mattie was a year and half old. That day we took him to a local farm, to walk around and see the animals. Mattie was all business, as he was moving around from one fenced area to the next, checking out all the animals. Mattie loved animals and nature from an early age, and it was through his love for the outdoors, that I grew to appreciate all the natural beauty around me.
Quote of the day: We grieve because we love. The intensity of the grief often proclaims the depth of our love. ~ Gary Roe
Last night, before I went to sleep, I went down to the basement to check on the outdoor drain by the door. It was pouring and given that this area flooded back in 2021 (when we first moved into the house), I am always very nervous when it rains. Mind you after the 2021 flood, our plumber fixed the drain and installed a back up sump pump. Nonetheless, I live with constant fear since I became single, as I have a lot of responsibilities and manage them single handedly. Thankfully the drain was fine last night, but I found that Indie had once again pooped on the rug! At 11pm, I was at my wit's end! I have tried everything from new litter boxes, multiple boxes, new litter, and nothing is working. Despite cleaning her boxes DAILY, she is still going outside of her boxes. Given the day I had, this wasn't a good ending.
This morning, unlike most Saturdays, my dad did not have a physical therapy session. So I was moving slower than normal and not rushing around. Typically I get up at 6 or 6:30am, and immediately start chores. I did not do this today. That should have been a good thing, but it turned out to be a disaster. By the time I showered and got downstairs to prep breakfast, I heard my mom yelling. So I stopped what I was doing and ran upstairs. The scene wasn't pretty! Somehow my dad got the bedrail down, moved all the wedge pillows I use to keep him in place, he pooped in bed, and then was walking around without clothes. It wasn't my finest moment, as I landed up screaming. I wasn't screaming about the pooping and mess..... because I deal with that daily, what I was very upset about was the fact that he got up from bed without supervision. Given his fall in July and three week hospitalization, I do not like him out of bed when I am not present. It took six paramedics to get him off the floor in July. However, no matter what I say to my dad, it doesn't register! Within minutes after my tirade and cleaning him up, my dad had NO IDEA what just happened. Dementia tries my patience from every angle. When I tell you I spend my days cleaning, more cleaning, and cleaning, I am not kidding. It takes great effort to keep my house smelling fresh and clean, and if I should take a day off from this routine, you can immediately tell!
Once my parents were settled, I did some computer work. I am working on the Foundation's mass mailing for the holidays. We have done this mass mailing for over ten years. I literally start the prep work for this mailing months ago. But now I am turning to scrubbing our database and generating mailing labels. This alone will take me two weeks, only because of all the chores I juggle in any given day. Yesterday wasn't a good day, as being on a board call without my other half depressed me to no end. Today, I reflected on the Foundation's database filled with the names of friends and supporters and realized that all these people stand behind Mattie's memory and legacy and that made me smile. I am an emotional roller coaster these days and a bundle of nerves.
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